Some people think that a job provides not only an income but also a social life. Other people think that it is better to develop a social life with people you do not work with. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Work

Use synonyms

is a major part of our lives. On average, we spend around half a century at

work

Use synonyms

therefore

Linking Words

, it is unsurprising that some individuals socialise with colleagues. Some disapprove of

this

Linking Words

, and, admittedly, there are valid reasons for

this

Linking Words

;

nevertheless

Linking Words

, there are benefits of spending time together outside of working hours. Mixing your

work

Use synonyms

and social life could be risky for several reasons.

Firstly

Linking Words

, the relationship between managers and staff might become difficult to manage.

For example

Linking Words

, I had a good rapport with a former manager and we frequently met up after

work

Use synonyms

;

however

Linking Words

, when there was an issue at

work

Use synonyms

, he found it difficult to deal with because of our close friendship.

In addition

Linking Words

, when you get

together with

Linking Words

your colleagues, you tend to talk about

work

Use synonyms

and

this

Linking Words

might not be good for your mental health, as you need to switch off.

Finally

Linking Words

, you need to be careful how you behave because if a video of inappropriate behaviour

was

Wrong verb form

show examples

posted on social media, it could be detrimental to your career. Despite these drawbacks, spending time with fellow employees can be advantageous.

Firstly

Linking Words

, teamwork can improve, as there is good communication between staff members and we tend to co-operate better with people we get on well with.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, if you are contented at

work

Use synonyms

, you are likely to be less stressed.

Moreover

Linking Words

, in contemporary society, it is particularly difficult to make friends, as everyone is leading

such

Linking Words

busy lives,

therefore

Linking Words

, making friends with co-workers could prevent loneliness. There are certainly risks involved with socialising with fellow workers, and,

for

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

reason, everyone needs to behave appropriately. Despite

this

Linking Words

, I feel that if everyone acts professionally whilst in the workplace, and has enjoyable interactions outside of it, there should not be an issue.

waauliya011Sat Dec 09 2023

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Improvement Suggestions

coherence cohesion

Ensure each main body paragraph is focused on a single idea, with clear topic sentences guiding the reader through your argument.

coherence cohesion

Utilize a range of cohesive devices to create a seamless flow of ideas, but avoid overuse or mechanical repetition.

task achievement

Give balanced attention to both views presented in the essay prompt and ensure your opinion is clear and substantiated.

task achievement

Integrate deeper, more detailed examples to support your points for a fully developed argument.

coherence cohesion

Work on concluding paragraphs by summarizing the key points and reaffirming your position in a synthesizing manner.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

294 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Income
Social network
Colleagues
Emotional support
Teamwork
Work-related challenges
Collaborative projects
Workplace events
Professional growth
Mentorships
Career advancement
Social life
Stress
Burnout
Diverse social life
Perspectives
Well-being
Mental health
Personal development
Professional life

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Improvement Suggestions

Include an introduction and conclusion

Many criminals commit further crimes as soon as they are released from prison. What do you think re the causes of this? What effects will have on society?

The government’s investment in arts, music and theater is a waste of money. Government should invest these funds in public services instead. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

Topic: Some people believe that children should spend more time participating in physical activities rather than playing computer games. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

The increase in the production and consumption of meat has resulted in damage to the natural environment. What are the causes of this? What can be done to solve this problem?

Some people say that the only reason for learning a foreign language is in order to travel to or work in a foreign country. Others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foreign language. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.