The widespread use of the internet has brought many problems. What do you think are the main problems associated with the use of web? What solutions can you suggest?

#internet #web

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Since the introduction of the

Use synonyms

internet

Add a comma

internet,

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its usage has been rocketing

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and

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reaches

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reached

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new

hights

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heights

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every day.

This

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is an

expectable

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expected

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outcome of the vast range of applications it can provide.

However

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, the more online

people

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are, the more we

relise

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realise

the issues of

this

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phenomenon. There are two main problems to deal with nowadays namely, the

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miss-use

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misuse

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and the over-use.

While

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there have been pathways defined to move back to the right track, the latter issue seems quite complicated to solve. The most critical downside that needs

imidiate

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immediate

action is the way many

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miss-use

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misuse

show examples

such

Linking Words

technologies. By

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Add a comma

miss-use,

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miss-use

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misuse

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it is meant that any device or process that can harm the user or others.

This

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is a

neccessity

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necessity

to be taken care of since

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apply

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it not only hurts

people

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financially, but it can even have severe mental

consiquences

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consequences

as well. In

todays

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today's

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world,

people

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use

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internet

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the internet

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for everyday

life

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mundane tasks to the most complex ones of the finance world.

This

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make

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makes

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so much data

vanrable

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vulnerable

, resulting in the many hurtful stories we can hear about on the news.

Furthermore

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, it can put restrictive limitations on the developers just to stop

such

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behaviours.

For instance

Linking Words

, the

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miss-use

Correct your spelling

misuse

show examples

of the

uber

Capitalize word

Uber

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app clients' policy by some individuals forced the company to make drastic changes that are

benficial

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beneficial

to no one.

In addition

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this

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, there is another

hiddden

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hidden

negetive

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negative

impactor most don't even

relise

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realise

. It is the over-use which might bring forth numerous changes to

people

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life style

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lifestyle

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. It is an undeniable fact that the net is

intangeled

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entangled

in many corners of our lives. Despite that, most cultures, no matter how

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strongly rooted

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strongly-rooted

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strongly rooted

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they

were

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are

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in daily routines, can not withstand the weathering that

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Correct article usage

the internet

show examples

internet

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the internet

show examples

has brought. The more it spreads

through out

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throughout

show examples

our

life

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, the less space is left for

such

Linking Words

cultures. These are not always some ancient tradition that urban

people

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held, even simple things

such

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as the hang-out culture is under attack here. In a study done by the UBC, it was shown that many

contributers

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contributors

to the traditions of residents of Africa are fading away as there is no room for them anymore. On a separate note, we

most

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must

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always look towards the fixes we can apply to these situations. The clear answer is to add

reguations

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regulations

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apply

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and

restablish

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establish

reestablish

the

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apply

show examples

internet

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activities ,so there won't be a clash anymore between the old and the new world. Taking firm action on the note can result in some

much needed

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much-needed

show examples

and

imidiate

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immediate

after effects.

Moreover

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, in the long

run

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run,

show examples

this

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can

erradicate

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eradicate

all traces of

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miss-use

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misuse

show examples

However

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, the larger

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internet

Correct article usage

the internet

show examples

gets, the harder it will be to get rid of the over-use. Even now, it seems to be too late to take action. The regulations probably will need to find a middle ground just to let

local

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the local

a local

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culture of many areas live alongside the

internet

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. In conclusion, Whilst the

internet

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has made everyday

life

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simpler, we should not forget what makes us human.

This

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technology must be a tool to reach a goal, not change the goal itself.

This

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can be

acheived

Correct your spelling

achieved

by imidate and global cooperation to set

reguations

Correct your spelling

regulations

Submitted by mohammad.bameri.1380 on Sat Dec 09 2023

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coherence cohesion

The essay lacks a clear and coherent structure. Paras often begin without a clear introductory sentence and the development of ideas could be more logical and cohesive. Use a clear topic sentence for each paragraph and ensure that each idea flows logically to the next.

task achievement

The response partially addresses the prompt but does not provide a fully developed answer. Both the problems and solutions associated with the use of the internet need to be more explicitly stated and fully developed. Include more focused details and relevant examples to support your points.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
47
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

520 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

widespread use
main problems
associated with
cybercrime
hacking
privacy
data security
cyberbullying
online harassment
addiction
excessive screen time
misinformation
fake news
online scams
fraud
loss of productivity
impersonal communication
social isolation
digital divide
solutions
suggest

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The widespread use of the internet has brought many problems. What do you think are the main problems associated with the use of web? What solutions can you suggest?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Childood obesity is an increasing problem in Australia as many as two thirds of children are now obese. Schools have a responsilbility to monitor what their students eat and the amount of exercise they do. To what extend do you agree to this statement?

In many countries, the quality of life in the large cities is worsening. What possibly can cause this problem? What measures can be taken to resolve it?

New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time. Do you think the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

Lack of fresh water is becoming a global issue of increasing importance. What problems does the shortage of fresh water cause? What measures could be taken to overcome these problems?

When asked to choose between a life without work and working most of time, people always choose not to work. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?