The widespread use of the internet has brought many problems. What do you think are the main problems associated with the use of web? What solutions can you suggest?

Since the introduction of the
internet
Add a comma
internet,
show examples
its usage has been rocketing
an
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and
show examples
reaches
Wrong verb form
reached
show examples
new
hights
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heights
show examples
every day.
This
is an
expectable
Replace the word
expected
show examples
outcome of the vast range of applications it can provide.
However
, the more online
people
are, the more we
relise
Correct your spelling
realise
the issues of
this
phenomenon. There are two main problems to deal with nowadays namely, the
miss-use
Correct your spelling
misuse
show examples
and the over-use.
While
there have been pathways defined to move back to the right track, the latter issue seems quite complicated to solve. The most critical downside that needs
imidiate
Correct your spelling
immediate
action is the way many
miss-use
Correct your spelling
misuse
show examples
such
technologies. By
Add a comma
miss-use,
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miss-use
Correct your spelling
misuse
show examples
it is meant that any device or process that can harm the user or others.
This
is a
neccessity
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necessity
to be taken care of since
,
Remove the comma
apply
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it not only hurts
people
financially, but it can even have severe mental
consiquences
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consequences
as well. In
todays
Change to a genitive case
today's
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world,
people
use
internet
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the internet
show examples
for everyday
life
mundane tasks to the most complex ones of the finance world.
This
make
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makes
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so much data
vanrable
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vulnerable
, resulting in the many hurtful stories we can hear about on the news.
Furthermore
, it can put restrictive limitations on the developers just to stop
such
behaviours.
For instance
, the
miss-use
Correct your spelling
misuse
show examples
of the
uber
Capitalize word
Uber
show examples
app clients' policy by some individuals forced the company to make drastic changes that are
benficial
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beneficial
to no one.
In addition
to
this
, there is another
hiddden
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hidden
negetive
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negative
impactor most don't even
relise
Correct your spelling
realise
. It is the over-use which might bring forth numerous changes to
people
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
. It is an undeniable fact that the net is
intangeled
Correct your spelling
entangled
in many corners of our lives. Despite that, most cultures, no matter how
Correct your spelling
strongly rooted
show examples
strongly-rooted
Correct your spelling
strongly rooted
show examples
they
were
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
in daily routines, can not withstand the weathering that
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
has brought. The more it spreads
through out
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throughout
show examples
our
life
, the less space is left for
such
cultures. These are not always some ancient tradition that urban
people
held, even simple things
such
as the hang-out culture is under attack here. In a study done by the UBC, it was shown that many
contributers
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contributors
to the traditions of residents of Africa are fading away as there is no room for them anymore. On a separate note, we
most
Correct your spelling
must
show examples
always look towards the fixes we can apply to these situations. The clear answer is to add
reguations
Correct your spelling
regulations
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and
restablish
Correct your spelling
establish
reestablish
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
internet
activities ,so there won't be a clash anymore between the old and the new world. Taking firm action on the note can result in some
much needed
Add a hyphen
much-needed
show examples
and
imidiate
Correct your spelling
immediate
after effects.
Moreover
, in the long
run
Add a comma
run,
show examples
this
can
erradicate
Correct your spelling
eradicate
all traces of
miss-use
Correct your spelling
misuse
show examples
.
However
, the larger
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
gets, the harder it will be to get rid of the over-use. Even now, it seems to be too late to take action. The regulations probably will need to find a middle ground just to let
local
Add an article
the local
a local
show examples
culture of many areas live alongside the
internet
. In conclusion, Whilst the
internet
has made everyday
life
simpler, we should not forget what makes us human.
This
technology must be a tool to reach a goal, not change the goal itself.
This
can be
acheived
Correct your spelling
achieved
by imidate and global cooperation to set
reguations
Correct your spelling
regulations
.
Submitted by mohammad.bameri.1380 on

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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear and coherent structure. Paras often begin without a clear introductory sentence and the development of ideas could be more logical and cohesive. Use a clear topic sentence for each paragraph and ensure that each idea flows logically to the next.
task achievement
The response partially addresses the prompt but does not provide a fully developed answer. Both the problems and solutions associated with the use of the internet need to be more explicitly stated and fully developed. Include more focused details and relevant examples to support your points.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • widespread use
  • main problems
  • associated with
  • cybercrime
  • hacking
  • privacy
  • data security
  • cyberbullying
  • online harassment
  • addiction
  • excessive screen time
  • misinformation
  • fake news
  • online scams
  • fraud
  • loss of productivity
  • impersonal communication
  • social isolation
  • digital divide
  • solutions
  • suggest
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