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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The table and charts below give information on the police budget for 2017 and 2018 in the are of Britain. The table shows where the money came from and the charts shows how it was distributed.

The table and charts below give information on the police budget for 2017 and 2018 in the are of Britain. The table shows where the money came from and the charts shows how it was distributed.
#information #police #budget #britain #money
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This
Linking Words
 table illustrates the source of money which
listed
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is listed
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 (national
government
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, local taxes, and
other
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others
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) as given ,
while
Linking Words
 the two pie charts depict the spending distribution of the money. Both
table
Fix the agreement mistake
tables
show examples
 and charts give data from 2017 to 2018 on the police
budget
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 in one certain area of Britain. It is clear from
the
Correct article usage
apply
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both that the national
government
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 is considered the far most assist to the police
budget
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,
while
Linking Words
 the
budget
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 consumed the most on salaries in general.
According to
Linking Words
 what is shown, the total
budget
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 in 2017 at 304
million
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, including the
government
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 which
represent
Correct subject-verb agreement
represents
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175
million
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, and the second most given is local taxes
by
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apply
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about 91
million
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. The next year the
government
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assist
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assistance
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rose by about 2
million
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.
In addition
Linking Words
, the
spend
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spending
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of
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on
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 local taxes increased significantly
reached
Wrong verb form
reaching
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102
million
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,
whereas
Linking Words
 the other sources consistently remained at the same figure
by
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of
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38
million
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. Regarding
to
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apply
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the expenditure of the
budget
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, in both 2017 and 2018, the salary was spent the most, accounting for 75% and 69% respectively. The technology spending rose by 5% in 2018, and the transport and buildings spending remained at the same figure throughout the two years.
To sum up
Linking Words
, we could say that, the
government
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 was the
demanded
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demand
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 on the police
budget
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 and the salary came the most consumed of the
budget
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.
Submitted by abdullazizalajlan.m on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 75%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words government, budget, million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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