Some people believe that studying at university of college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #university #college #route #career #job #school

Several communities believe that in order to achieve good fortune, a person should attend university.

However

, others believe that a successful

life

is linked to entering the workforce immediately after

school

. In my opinion, if someone wants to have a peaceful

life

, they should start working right after

school

. On one hand, many people believe that their children should focus solely on studying in order to have a successful

life

For example

, when I was a teenager, my father always told me to prioritize my

school

courses and not worry about finding a job.

However

, I always tried to find part-time work to gain experience in my field of study.

On the other hand

, there are individuals who believe the opposite - that success comes from working immediately after

school

and that attending college or university is a waste of time. They advise their children to work as much as possible right after graduating from

school

. Personally, I share

this

belief. I want to live a peaceful

life

without the stress of making money, and I believe in taking action towards my goals rather than just studying and thinking about the future. In conclusion, achieving success and a peaceful

life

are everyone's desires, and there are different paths to reach them. I personally believe that practical actions are more important than just studying and thinking about our goals.

Submitted by akbargh1995 on Sat Dec 09 2023

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Task Achievement

The essay presents both views, but the support for each argument is unbalanced and lacks development. Ensure that both sides of the argument are explored equally and with clear, specific examples that substantiate the points you are making.

Coherence & Cohesion

There is an evident essay structure with an introduction and conclusion; however, more attention is needed to maintain a logical flow of ideas throughout the essay. Use a range of cohesive devices and organize paragraphs effectively to improve the reader's ability to follow your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

228 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Academic qualifications
Specialized skills
In-depth knowledge
Personal growth
Social development
Practical experience
Financial independence
Career progression
Professional networking
Education
Work experience
Successful career
Personal interests
Career goals
Decision-making process

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Some people believe that studying at university of college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. discuss both views and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

The best way for governments to solve the problem of traffic congestion is providing free public transport 24 hours a day, seven days a week. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Governments should make public transportation free in order to reduce the number of private vehicles on roads, therefore leading to lower carbon emissions. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

More people are shopping online today than ever before. Why do people choose to shop this way? Are there any disadvantages to shopping online?

In many countries people have to pay for medical care, but some think that it should be a free service provided by the government. To what extent do you agree or disagree?