Some people believe that studying at university of college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. discuss both views and give your opinion.

Several communities believe that in order to achieve good fortune, a person should attend university.
However
, others believe that a successful
life
is linked to entering the workforce immediately after
school
. In my opinion, if someone wants to have a peaceful
life
, they should start working right after
school
. On one hand, many people believe that their children should focus solely on studying in order to have a successful
life
.
For example
, when I was a teenager, my father always told me to prioritize my
school
courses and not worry about finding a job.
However
, I always tried to find part-time work to gain experience in my field of study.
On the other hand
, there are individuals who believe the opposite - that success comes from working immediately after
school
and that attending college or university is a waste of time. They advise their children to work as much as possible right after graduating from
school
. Personally, I share
this
belief. I want to live a peaceful
life
without the stress of making money, and I believe in taking action towards my goals rather than just studying and thinking about the future. In conclusion, achieving success and a peaceful
life
are everyone's desires, and there are different paths to reach them. I personally believe that practical actions are more important than just studying and thinking about our goals.
Submitted by akbargh1995 on

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Task Achievement
The essay presents both views, but the support for each argument is unbalanced and lacks development. Ensure that both sides of the argument are explored equally and with clear, specific examples that substantiate the points you are making.
Coherence & Cohesion
There is an evident essay structure with an introduction and conclusion; however, more attention is needed to maintain a logical flow of ideas throughout the essay. Use a range of cohesive devices and organize paragraphs effectively to improve the reader's ability to follow your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Academic qualifications
  • Specialized skills
  • In-depth knowledge
  • Personal growth
  • Social development
  • Practical experience
  • Financial independence
  • Career progression
  • Professional networking
  • Education
  • Work experience
  • Successful career
  • Personal interests
  • Career goals
  • Decision-making process
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