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Band 5.5

Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#countries #money #poverty #aid
The establishment of rich
countries
 that distribute financial aid to poor
countries
 is insufficient as
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 sole solution for
poverty
. The support for developing
nations
 should focus on strategies for sustainable growth.
However
, I believe that it has both pros and cons that we need to discuss on both sides before forming any opinions.
To begin
 with,
while
 giving money can help with urgent needs like food and health, it doesn't address the main reasons why some
countries
 remain poor. Issues like corruption, dependency, and lack of infrastructure development continue to be significant challenges.
Instead
 of solely relying on financial assistance, developed
countries
 should collaborate with poorer
nations
 to implement long-term improvement plans. One alternative is investing in education and skill development programs. By imparting knowledge to people,
countries
 can break the cycle of
poverty
.
Additionally
, advanced
nations
 can share technology and support the development of local industries. Another crucial area is health. Ensuring people have clean water and access to healthcare can make a big difference in their lives. Improving these basic elements creates a foundation for lasting progress. In conclusion, financial aid alone won't solve
poverty
 on a global scale. I believe developed
nations
 should offer various kinds of support
such
 as education, skills, healthcare, and better infrastructure.
This
 way, poor
countries
 can stand on their own feet and build a future where
poverty
 is not just eased but completely eradicated.
Submitted by woigl on

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Task Achievement
In terms of task achievement, your essay addresses the prompt, but could benefit from a deeper exploration of the nuances of the argument. Ensure that all parts of the task are addressed equally and your position is clear throughout the essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Regarding coherence and cohesion, your essay is generally well-organized. However, you should use a wider range of cohesive devices and ensure paragraphs flow smoothly from one to the next. Additionally, the conclusion should reflect the complexity of the arguments presented and restate your position clearly.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • poverty alleviation
  • economic inequality
  • developing nations
  • foreign aid
  • sustainable growth
  • technical assistance
  • expertise
  • infrastructure
  • education
  • fair trade
  • trade barriers
  • sustainable development
  • environmental conservation
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