IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think that universities should provide graduates with the knowledge and skills needed in the workplace.Others think that the true function of a university should be to give access to knowledge for its own sake, regardless of whether the course is useful to an employer. What, in your opinion, should be the main function of a univeristy?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
According to
Linking Words
 some,
university
Use synonyms
students
Use synonyms
 should be provided with the
knowledge
Use synonyms
 and the
skills
Use synonyms
 which are helpful in the
workplace
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 other
people
Use synonyms
 think that the main purpose of universities is to teach
students
Use synonyms
knowledge
Use synonyms
 regardless if it is suitable for the employer. In my opinion, I consider that universities should provide graduates with the
knowledge
Use synonyms
 and
skills
Use synonyms
 needed in the
workplace
Use synonyms
. On the one hand, some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that
students
Use synonyms
 should be taught the
skills
Use synonyms
 of the
work
Use synonyms
 environment, and I agree. The first reason is that
students
Use synonyms
 can exploit their time at the
university
Use synonyms
 training for
work
Use synonyms
.
That is
Linking Words
 to say, colleges are a suitable place to study working
skills
Use synonyms
, which is an effective way because
students
Use synonyms
 are still improving their
skills
Use synonyms
 in many kinds ,
such
Linking Words
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 social
skills
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
students
Use synonyms
 have a high chance of gaining working
skills
Use synonyms
 during
university
Use synonyms
 time. Another point is that
students
Use synonyms
 must implement their studying in reality.
This
Linking Words
 can be done by making them
work
Use synonyms
.
Hence
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 way will make the
students
Use synonyms
 gain some
work
Use synonyms
experience
Use synonyms
 which will be helpful for the future
workplace
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, it is believed by some
people
Use synonyms
 that the main sake of
university
Use synonyms
 is to provide
knowledge
Use synonyms
 for their
students
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the student should focus on their
knowledge
Use synonyms
.
In other words
Linking Words
,
knowledge
Use synonyms
 is as important as working
skills
Use synonyms
. So, working
skills
Use synonyms
 can be gained by facing many
Use synonyms
experience
Change to a plural noun
experiences
show examples
 in the
work
Use synonyms
, but, developing the student's language has a specific time which is at the
university
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, it is difficult for working
skills
Use synonyms
 to be taught. To put it simply, working
skills
Use synonyms
 need a real
experience
Use synonyms
 to be gained.
To sum up
Linking Words
, many
people
Use synonyms
 vary in their opinions.
However
Linking Words
, I believe that universities should provide graduates with the
knowledge
Use synonyms
 and
skills
Use synonyms
 needed in the
workplace
Use synonyms
. If
students
Use synonyms
 cannot gain working
skills
Use synonyms
 at the
university
Use synonyms
, they might gain them from future
work
Use synonyms
experience
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

structure
Your essay would benefit from further attention to logical structure. Aim to create clear paragraphs with distinct main ideas that are elaborated upon with specific examples. Each paragraph should transition smoothly to the next, with cohesive devices used to link ideas both within and between paragraphs.
introduction
Although you have included an introduction and conclusion, they could be improved for clarity and impact. The introduction should clearly set out your stance on the topic, and the conclusion should summarize your main points effectively, reinforcing your position. Make sure that these sections are straightforward and do not introduce new arguments or details.
elaboration
Your main points have some support, but you should work on providing more specific and relevant examples to demonstrate the applicability of your arguments. Use real-world examples, research findings, or hypothetical scenarios to illustrate your points better. Without this, your argument may lack persuasive power.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: