IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people feel that governments should take a large portion of people's salaries to pay for necessary public services such as roads and schools. Others feel that high taxes are a bad thing. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #governments #portion #salaries #services #roads #schools #taxes
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Argument regarding "high
taxes
Use synonyms
" is a global subject in the coffee shop. Some
people
Use synonyms
support
Use synonyms
 high
taxes
Use synonyms
 on their salary and some are not. But there are views from both of the sides. I will share my opinion in the conclusion but before that,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 would like to discuss
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
both
negative
Correct article usage
the negative
show examples
 and positive parts.
Firstly
Linking Words
, no government can run a
country
Use synonyms
 without imposing
taxes
Use synonyms
 on
people
Use synonyms
. All the constructions and developments are executed by
people
Use synonyms
's money. The side
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 supports high
taxes
Use synonyms
,
they have
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
 some specific reasons behind
this
Linking Words
. Namely,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 doesn't impose high
taxes
Use synonyms
 without any calculation. Definitely, the finance and tax department controls
this
Linking Words
 tax rate issue considering the economic condition of the
country
Use synonyms
, import-export balance,
comodity
Correct your spelling
commodity
 needs, development strategies etc.
In addition
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 must
support
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the governement
show examples
governement
Correct your spelling
government
 in any kind of bad situation
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
country
Use synonyms
.
Conversely
Linking Words
, everyone expects an honest
geverment
Correct your spelling
government
 in their
country
Use synonyms
. In many
countries
Use synonyms
, there are many
corrupted
Correct word choice
corrupt
show examples
 governments, who impose high tax rates because of personal interest.
For example
Linking Words
, there are some
countries
Use synonyms
 in which
Correct article usage
the governement
show examples
governement
Correct your spelling
government
 plan for different unnecessary projects and make a proposal for funds for external loans or high
taxes
Use synonyms
. For that reason, some
people
Use synonyms
 may not
support
Use synonyms
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
 in different
countries
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, many
people
Use synonyms
 do not
support
Use synonyms
 high
taxes
Use synonyms
 because they can not see the return properly
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 their own betterment or
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the country
show examples
country
Change noun form
country's
show examples
developments
Fix the agreement mistake
development
show examples
. Many
governements
Correct your spelling
governments
 give medical insurance
facility
Fix the agreement mistake
facilities
show examples
 against
taxes
Use synonyms
 and
also
Linking Words
 education which provides a beautiful
certain
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
life to the
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
show examples
. In conclusion, the issues of high
taxes
Use synonyms
 may vary in different
countries
Use synonyms
. I
support
Use synonyms
 high
taxes
Use synonyms
 in several conditions,
namely
Add a comma
namely,
show examples
 return on
taxes
Use synonyms
, no corruption, proper development
investements
Correct your spelling
investments
 etc.
Submitted by tanvir0507 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your essay attempts to address the question but lacks depth, and you have not fully developed your arguments. It is important to delve deeper into the topic by providing more detailed explanations and reasoning to support each viewpoint.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay could be greatly improved. Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and that all ideas are logically sequenced. Remember to use a variety of transition words to enhance the flow of your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: