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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

LEARNING TO MANAGE MONEY IS ONE OF THE KEY ASPECTS OF ADULT LIFE. HOW IN YOUR VIEW CAN INDIVIDUALS BEST LEARN TO MANAGE THEIR MONEY

#money #aspects #adult #life #individuals
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Task 2
Money
 plays an important role in every individual's life. Learning to manage
money
 is something that virtually everyone must do as the ability to maintain a balance between income and expenditure is essential for a stable life. In my opinion, there are several ways members of society can learn to control their budgets. An important principle in financial
management
 is establishing a balance between a person's income and expenses, which requires a basic education and prerequisites.
For example
, every person should have expenses
according to
 their financial ability so as not to have problems in financial
management
, and in my opinion, one of the most important things in financial
management
 is saving
money
 properly. But about prerequisites that
mean
Correct subject-verb agreement
means
show examples
 learning from others' experiences
particularly
Add the comma(s)
, particularly
show examples
 from parents. Parents should be role models for their kids about how to plan the
money
 that they have.
Moreover
, not only
tell
Correct subject-verb agreement
tells
show examples
 them how to do it but
also
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
 them conceive the fundamental knowledge about the value of
money
. Foremost, using a lot of different methods of education that have become very common, can well improve our knowledge in
this
 area. One of these ways to promote our commercial knowledge and better control of our assets can be the use of informed individuals' experiences in terms of financial
management
 but it should be done consciously because there is a possibility of violations and abuses.
Overall
, Learning to manage
money
 should start as early as possible
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
variety
Correct article usage
a variety
show examples
methods
Change preposition
of methods
show examples
 for the best results.
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coherence cohesion
Ensure the essay includes a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion to effectively structure the response. The conclusion should summarize the main points made.
coherence cohesion
Develop main points further with detailed explanations and relevant examples to create a stronger argument and provide more in-depth analysis.
task achievement
While you have addressed the topic, you should aim to fully develop your ideas and provide specific, relevant examples to support your points. Make sure the response forms a complete argument.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices and paragraphing to improve the overall readability and flow of your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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