IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Scientists tell us that some activities are good for health and others are bad. Despite knowing that, millions of people still continue doing unhealthy activities. What are the causes and what are the solutions for this

Nowadays,
People
Use synonyms
 always doing
activities
Use synonyms
 that
Add a missing verb
are unhealth
show examples
unhealth
Correct your spelling
unhealthy
show examples
,
whereas
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
scientist
Fix the agreement mistake
scientists
show examples
tell
Verb problem
say
show examples
 that there are two
kind
Change to a plural noun
kinds
show examples
 of
activities
Use synonyms
, good and bad for health, because many
individuals
Use synonyms
are not believe
Change the verb form
do not believe
show examples
 in research about
healthy
Replace the word
health
show examples
 until
their
Correct your spelling
they are
show examples
 sick, and
people
Use synonyms
 hard to
change
Use synonyms
 their
Use synonyms
habit
Fix the agreement mistake
habits
show examples
. The first reason
people
Use synonyms
 continue doing
activities
Use synonyms
which is
Verb problem
that
show examples
 a bad
thing
Fix the agreement mistake
things
show examples
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because
Add a missing verb
is because
show examples
 they
are not believe
Change the verb form
do not believe
show examples
 in any result of studies.
People
Use synonyms
doing
Wrong verb form
do
show examples
 anything that they like, until they feel the effect
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their life, good or bad. if they feel good, they will repeat
that
Change the determiner
that activity
those activities
show examples
activities
Use synonyms
, and they will stop if that
give
Verb problem
has
show examples
 a bad impact.
for example
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
do
Wrong verb form
did
show examples
 not believe in covid-19
desease
Correct your spelling
disease
 when
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
warning
Wrong verb form
warned
show examples
 and said to
ware
Verb problem
wear
show examples
mask
Fix the agreement mistake
masks
show examples
, but they did not
ware
Correct your spelling
wear
show examples
 a mask
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 until many of us
was dead
Verb problem
died
show examples
 and
people
Use synonyms
start
Wrong verb form
started
show examples
 to use
that
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
.
Futhermore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
this
Linking Words
 will be dangerous if there is
not
Correct your spelling
no
show examples
 solution to do. So,
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 and society have to educate
surrounding
Correct article usage
the surrounding
show examples
 about every
Use synonyms
activities
Change to a singular noun
activity
show examples
 that
people
Use synonyms
 must
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
follow, and make them believe
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 every notification from
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
, or give punishment if they are not cooperative.
Other
Change the wording
Another
show examples
 reason is
individuals
Use synonyms
 hard to
change
Use synonyms
 their
activities
Use synonyms
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because it become
Use synonyms
habit
Add an article
a habit
show examples
 in their life. every
persons
Change to a singular noun
person
show examples
 always do their
activities
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
many times, and routine
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
. so, they can not
change
Use synonyms
 in
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 short
time
Use synonyms
. it
need
Change the verb form
needs
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 to process and replace bad
habit
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good
habit
Use synonyms
.
such
Linking Words
 as,
eat
Wrong verb form
eating
show examples
 fast food and less sleep
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
night.
However
Linking Words
,
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
both
activities
Use synonyms
 happen in
this
Linking Words
 modern era, because
people
Use synonyms
 do not have
time
Use synonyms
 to
coock
Correct your spelling
cook
 and love to do some work
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
night. So, the way to reduce
this
Linking Words
 bad
habit
Use synonyms
 is
enoucement
Correct word choice
to educate
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 about the risk of
instan
Correct your spelling
instant
 food and lack of sleep
time
Use synonyms
. because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 many
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
individuals
Use synonyms
 can
change
Use synonyms
 their
Use synonyms
habit
Fix the agreement mistake
habits
show examples
 if they know the
consequency
Correct your spelling
consequences
consequence
 of that. In conclusion, The study
find
Change the verb form
finds
show examples
 there are bad and good
activities
Use synonyms
, but many
people
Use synonyms
 still
doing
Wrong verb form
do
show examples
a bad
Correct the article-noun agreement
bad activities
a bad activity
show examples
activities
Use synonyms
 because they think
its
Correct your spelling
it's
show examples
 a good thing and
unbelieve
Add a missing verb
do unbelieve
show examples
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
other source
Change the wording
another source
other sources
show examples
, even though it is from professional. And
also
Linking Words
 not easy to
change
Use synonyms
 an
Use synonyms
activities
Fix the agreement mistake
activity
show examples
 that
becoming
Wrong verb form
has become
show examples
Use synonyms
habit
Correct article usage
a habit
show examples
 in
Use synonyms
Add an article
an individuals
the individuals
show examples
individuals
Change noun form
individual's
show examples
 life.

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coherence cohesion
The essay needs to follow a more logical structure, introducing the main topics in a clear and structured manner. Each paragraph should contain one main idea, supported by subsequent sentences that develop this point. Avoid stray thoughts which do not directly contribute to the development of your argument.
coherence cohesion
In your introduction and conclusion, clearly state the topic, your position, and a summarised reason for your position. Ensure your conclusion mirrors your introduction, reinforcing your main points.
coherence cohesion
Develop main points with relevant supporting examples and explanations. Try to illustrate your ideas with specific details, this provides depth to your analysis and strengthens your argument.
task achievement
Ensure the essay fully responds to the task with a complete argument, addressing all parts of the prompt. The introduction must clearly contextualise the essay and the body paragraphs should thoroughly explore the causes and solutions of the issue.
task achievement
Your ideas need to be clear and comprehensive; they should be expressed in a way that makes understanding them effortless for the reader. Avoid complicated or convoluted sentences that could confuse the examiner.
task achievement
Use specific examples to underpin your arguments. They should be relevant and effectively illustrate the point you are trying to make. Lack of specific examples can render your arguments unconvincing.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • addiction
  • chemical reactions
  • dependency
  • social and cultural norms
  • convenience
  • accessibility
  • education and awareness campaigns
  • temptations
  • implementing policies
  • taxing
  • supportive environment
  • accountability
  • unhealthy habits
What to do next:
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