IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Opinions on food are changing rapidly and there are many who believe that everyone chould follow a vegetarian diet because it would have a positive impact in our health and the environment. Do you agree or disagree?

#food #chould #diet #impact #health #environment
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Discussion regarding the type of
food
Use synonyms
 for diet
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 is a global
topics
Change the noun form
topic
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 of all the time. Lots of
community
Fix the agreement mistake
communities
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 believe in
vegetarian
Add an article
a vegetarian
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 diet for better health and
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
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. I totally agree
on
Change preposition
with
show examples
 it.
Firstly
Linking Words
, we all know about the positive impacts of
vegetables
Use synonyms
 and
also
Linking Words
 the negative impacts of red
meats
Fix the agreement mistake
meat
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. Specifically, our body needs
food
Use synonyms
for gaining
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to gain
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 energy which helps us to live &
work
Correct word choice
and work
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. In
this
Linking Words
 matter,
first
Change the article
the first
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 question is "
which
Capitalize word
Which
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food
Use synonyms
 is good for our health?". For gaining energy and proper body, we must need
protien
Correct your spelling
protein
,
carbo hydrate
Correct your spelling
carbohydrate
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 etc. There are lots of green
food
Use synonyms
 with
protien
Correct your spelling
protein
.
Similarly
Linking Words
, rice comes from the crops which is a good
carbo hydrate
Correct your spelling
carbohydrate
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. Green
vegetables
Use synonyms
 which
comes
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come
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 from nature,
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 very good for metabolism rate and
also
Linking Words
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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helps
Correct subject-verb agreement
help
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human
Add an article
the human
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 body for smooth digestion. Natural
food
Use synonyms
 like spinach helps to maintain
the
Correct article usage
apply
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eye performance. Peanut consists of good calorie which is the unit of energy. Potato
also
Linking Words
 has good
carbohydrate
Fix the agreement mistake
carbohydrates
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 which can be replaced by rice.
Additionally
Linking Words
, if we start the morning with lemon juice that helps us
in
Change preposition
with
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 any kind of gas problem
whole
Correct article usage
the whole
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 day.
Likewise
Linking Words
, some
amount
Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
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 of
peanut
Fix the agreement mistake
peanuts
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also
Linking Words
 provide lots of strength till noon.
In
Change preposition
For
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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lunch,
vegetarian
Add an article
the vegetarian
a vegetarian
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 meal has
huge
Add an article
a huge
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 positive impact. For
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
example, Indian
vegerian
Correct your spelling
vegetarian
 people like bread, spinach,
Correct word choice
and broccolli
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broccolli
Correct your spelling
broccoli
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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lunch.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
Correct article usage
the consumption
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consumption
Correct article usage
the consumption
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 of
vegetables
Use synonyms
 will increase
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
production
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
which will reduce
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
desertification. Authority will focus on more green production that will make our earth more habitable.
Similarly
Linking Words
,
human
Correct article usage
the human
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 race will live more
rathar
Correct your spelling
rather
 than having an early greenhouse event. In conclusion,
vegetables
Use synonyms
 come from mother nature which
have
Change the verb form
has
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 the best positive impact on human health and
global
Correct article usage
the global
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 environment. We must plant more trees and develop our diet to green
vegetables
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by tanvir0507 on

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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear logical structure. Paragraphs should have a clear central topic, and the link between ideas within the paragraphs needs strengthening.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present but could be more clearly defined and impactful. The introduction should clearly state your main argument and the conclusion should summarize the key points and restate your view.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents general benefits of a vegetarian diet, but the points need better support through more detailed explanations, evidence, or examples to enhance their persuasiveness.
task achievement
The task has been addressed to some extent, however, your essay should explicitly state your position at the beginning and consistently maintain your stance throughout the essay.
task achievement
The ideas are somewhat clear, but they could be expanded upon to be more comprehensive. It is important to discuss both sides of the argument (even if to refute the opposing view) for a more balanced essay.
task achievement
Specific examples are mentioned yet they remain quite general. Include more specific, real-world examples, statistics, studies, or expert opinions to substantiate your arguments and make them more convincing.
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