IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

School Children should choose the subjects they study from a young age and stop doing subjects they find uninteresting. How much do you agree with this opinion and why? Give reasons and examples to support your answer.

#school #children #subjects #study #age #support
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School children
Correct your spelling
Schoolchildren
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 should stop studying those
subjects
Use synonyms
which
Change preposition
in which
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 they have no interest
instead
Linking Words
 they should choose those
courses
Use synonyms
 which they have an interest in and they are studying from a young age. I am totally in favour of
this
Linking Words
 statement. In the upcoming paragraphs, I will discuss my viewpoint. The first and foremost reason behind
this
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 is that if children start studying the
subjects
Use synonyms
 which they have learned from childhood they will become experts in a particular field because they have
a fundamental knowledge
Remove the article
fundamental knowledge
a piece of fundamental knowledge
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 about those
courses
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, student
need
Change the verb form
needs
show examples
 less practice for those
courses
Use synonyms
along with
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 they can
also
Linking Words
 utilize their time on other activities.
Moreover
Linking Words
, pupils cannot get good grades in the
courses
Use synonyms
 in which they do not have an interest because they can not pay attention to the uninterested content which they need to study properly. So, to prevent low grades, children should take
subjects
Use synonyms
 which they find actually interesting and which they can pursue in the future. In conclusion, all
subjects
Use synonyms
 are useful and students should have a knowledge of all
subjects
Use synonyms
 but I think they should choose the
subjects
Use synonyms
 of their choice so that they can perform better.
Submitted by preetdhaliwal046 on

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task achievement
The essay provides a clear opinion, stating that the writer is in favor of the topic assertion. However, the argument would benefit from the development of more nuanced viewpoints or a consideration of possible counterarguments. Additionally, a stronger connection between the opinion and provided reasons and examples could enhance the task response.
coherence cohesion
The essay's structure is apparent with an introduction and conclusion in place, as well as basic paragraphing. However, the essay would benefit from a clearer progression of ideas with better use of linking devices and cohesive phrases. Furthermore, the expansion of main points with more detailed explanations would help the essay's cohesion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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