some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. discuss both these views and give your own opinion

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In spite of the fact that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
some individuals prefer to endure
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a hard and challenging
situation
, others are into
change
and transition. In my perspective, improvement and
change
could be
life
’s
milestone
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milestones
show examples
, so I am up to
second
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the second
show examples
group and in
this
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
I will
disscuse
Correct your spelling
discuss
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
both views and give my own opinion.
To begin
,
bad
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a bad
show examples
situation
has lots of
prose
Correct your spelling
pros
show examples
and cons, some plus points for body and character. It has
noticeable
Add an article
a noticeable
show examples
impact on increasing patient and managing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
stress during
life
.
Moreover
, in
short
Add an article
the short
a short
show examples
time it would be
great
Add an article
a great
the great
show examples
milestone that can promote
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life
or
satisfies
Correct subject-verb agreement
satisfy
show examples
our desire. In the next stage, the
drowbacks
Correct your spelling
drawbacks
of challenging times is more than advantage. In my point of view,
life
is short and we should try our best to improve and
change
the
life
.
Hard
Correct article usage
A hard
show examples
situation
has
negative
Add an article
a negative
show examples
impact on
mind
Add an article
the mind
show examples
that in
long
Correct article usage
the long
show examples
distance it would be with brain
problem
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problems
show examples
for example
some
disease
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diseases
show examples
like forgetting that they could not remember anything because of noticeable stress that they experienced during
life
.
In addition
, we have a power of choice which could
change
everything.in the past people used to live in hard condition but nowadays hardworking is not
answer
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the answer
an answer
show examples
of
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to
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promotion , the key is
plan
Correct article usage
a plan
show examples
and skills that comes from high
litracy
Correct your spelling
literacy
and education for improvement .
for instance
the president of each country or big political person, they
choice
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choose
show examples
educating
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education
show examples
and knowledge to
achieving
Wrong verb form
achieve
show examples
their goal so they
changed
Wrong verb form
change
show examples
hard
Add an article
the hard
show examples
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
show examples
and improve it for
high
Add an article
a high
the high
show examples
level of
life
.
To sum up
, I am keen on
change
and improvement
that is
the key
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
promotion in
life
and
equire
Correct your spelling
the
best purpose.
Submitted by akbargh1995 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure clear logical structure within paragraphs and across the essay. Use cohesive devices effectively to connect ideas and paragraphs, which is currently lacking.
coherence cohesion
Introduction and conclusion need to clearly present the topic and the writer's opinion. The conclusion should effectively summarize the main points without introducing new concepts, which needs refining.
coherence cohesion
Develop main points with supporting details and examples. The provided examples are insufficient and are not always directly linked to the main points.
task achievement
Make sure to completely address all parts of the task, including discussing both views and providing a clear opinion. Balance is necessary to ensure that both views receive equal development.
task achievement
Present ideas clearly and comprehensively, ensuring that the essay stays on topic and the overall message is easy to understand, despite grammatical inaccuracies which affect clarity.
task achievement
Utilize specific, relevant examples to back up your points. The current examples are not detailed or concrete enough to effectively support the argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • adversity
  • resilience
  • stoicism
  • contentment
  • cope
  • adapt
  • endure
  • persevere
  • settle
  • ambition
  • tenacious
  • determined
  • resourceful
  • optimistic
  • self-improvement
  • proactive
  • initiative
  • transform
  • overcome
  • confront
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