IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Your friend has written a letter to you asking for advice regarding a visit that his or her parents will be making to your area in the near future. write a letter to your friend: . recommend a place where then can stay . suggest the places they can visit ; offer to do something with then

#friend #advice #visit #parents #area #future #place #places #offer
Hello Raman,
I've
Unnecessary verb
I
show examples
 received your letter yesterday, and I hope you and your family
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 doing
good
Change the word
well
show examples
.
Also
, I would like to thank you for my suggestion to select
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 vacation spot for your parents. For
accomodation
Correct your spelling
accommodation
,there is one city house where all facilities are available
for example
, lunch
as well as
 rooms with furniture. One thing is that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
this
 house is
cheap
Correct word choice
cheaper
show examples
rather
Rephrase
apply
show examples
than hotels. So I suggest
this
 home where your family will stay safe. There are a lot of places like
museum
Fix the agreement mistake
museums
show examples
 where your family can get rich knowledge about history
as well as
 ancient
thing
Fix the agreement mistake
things
show examples
.
Moreover
, there is one famous rose garden where they can enjoy with their
similar aged
Add a hyphen
similar-aged
show examples
 people and see nature's beauty. It will be
a
Change the article
the
show examples
 best time for me when I become a tour guide for your parents. We will do a lot of
activies
Correct your spelling
activities
 together
for
Add the comma(s)
, for
show examples
 instance,
hicking
Correct your spelling
hiking
show examples
, swimming and so on. I hope you would like to love my selection, and I will
be wait
Change the verb form
be waiting
show examples
 when your parents
come
Fix the infinitive
to come
show examples
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 our town. Warm regards, Manpreet
Submitted by shaganpreetbal1 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph presents a clear main idea and that the supporting sentences are directly related to it. Avoid mixing different ideas within a single paragraph.
coherence cohesion
Work on creating clear logical connections between your ideas and paragraphs. Consider using a wider range of cohesive devices to better link your thoughts.
task achievement
To improve task achievement, it is crucial to fully develop your ideas. Provide more specific details and examples when recommending places to stay, visit, and activities to do with your friend's parents.
task achievement
The writing tone should be consistent and appropriate throughout the letter. Ensure a suitable level of formality when giving advice to a friend.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: