IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Your friend has written a letter to you asking for advice regarding a visit that his or her parents will be making to your area in the near future. write a letter to your friend: . recommend a place where then can stay . suggest the places they can visit ; offer to do something with then

#friend #advice #visit #parents #area #future #place #places #offer
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Hello Raman,
I've
Unnecessary verb
I
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 received your letter yesterday, and I hope you and your family
is
Change the verb form
are
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 doing
good
Change the word
well
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.
Also
, I would like to thank you for my suggestion to select
the
Correct article usage
a
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 vacation spot for your parents. For
accomodation
Correct your spelling
accommodation
,there is one city house where all facilities are available
for example
, lunch
as well as
 rooms with furniture. One thing is that
,
Remove the comma
apply
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this
 house is
cheap
Correct word choice
cheaper
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rather
Rephrase
apply
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than hotels. So I suggest
this
 home where your family will stay safe. There are a lot of places like
museum
Fix the agreement mistake
museums
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 where your family can get rich knowledge about history
as well as
 ancient
thing
Fix the agreement mistake
things
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.
Moreover
, there is one famous rose garden where they can enjoy with their
similar aged
Add a hyphen
similar-aged
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 people and see nature's beauty. It will be
a
Change the article
the
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 best time for me when I become a tour guide for your parents. We will do a lot of
activies
Correct your spelling
activities
 together
for
Add the comma(s)
, for
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 instance,
hicking
Correct your spelling
hiking
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, swimming and so on. I hope you would like to love my selection, and I will
be wait
Change the verb form
be waiting
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 when your parents
come
Fix the infinitive
to come
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in
Change preposition
to
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 our town. Warm regards, Manpreet
Submitted by shaganpreetbal1 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph presents a clear main idea and that the supporting sentences are directly related to it. Avoid mixing different ideas within a single paragraph.
coherence cohesion
Work on creating clear logical connections between your ideas and paragraphs. Consider using a wider range of cohesive devices to better link your thoughts.
task achievement
To improve task achievement, it is crucial to fully develop your ideas. Provide more specific details and examples when recommending places to stay, visit, and activities to do with your friend's parents.
task achievement
The writing tone should be consistent and appropriate throughout the letter. Ensure a suitable level of formality when giving advice to a friend.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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