Some believe that it is good to share as much as information as possible in scientific and academic work others believe that some information is too valuable to share discuss both sides and give your opinion

It has been a controversial issue: some people think that sharing
knowledge
about business,
technology
and education is beneficial
while
others disagree
due to
cencerns
Correct your spelling
concerns
about private
data
.
Although
hidden
informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
show examples
and methods have many pros for
development
Correct article usage
the development
show examples
and growth of
nation
Fix the agreement mistake
nations
show examples
and companies.I
believed
Wrong verb form
believe
show examples
that
this
is a positive step to share
knowledge
and discuss globally for the betterment
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
technology
. On the one hand ,behind each and every advancement there are large numbers of people ,their hard work and
time
there is
threat
Add an article
a threat
show examples
,
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apply
show examples
if
data
goes viral and copy by someone else who even didn't invest his
time
and money and earn
reward
Correct article usage
a reward
show examples
from the other person work who burns midnights oil to grow and
succes
Correct your spelling
succeed
success
in specific field .
furthermore
they misuse
data
which is not good for the mankind.
For instance
famous Pakistani milk company
reveal
Wrong verb form
revealed
show examples
their formula to grow internationally which in turn
leads
Wrong verb form
led
show examples
to great loss in the company budget as many local businesses copied that formula and
start
Wrong verb form
started
show examples
selling in public
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
Cheeper
Correct your spelling
cheaper
rate .
Thus
this
think comes to mind that some policies are
to
Correct your spelling
too
show examples
private to share because they can
provide
Verb problem
cause
show examples
loss to a community. On
Correct article usage
the ther
show examples
ther
Correct your spelling
other
hand , today is the
time
of science and
technology
and science is a logical application with hypothetical
statement
Fix the agreement mistake
statements
show examples
in which
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
different experiments are conducted which leads to
research
,discovery and innovation.
Moreover
Add a comma
Moreover,
show examples
technology
has made
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life very comfortable and work
becomes
Wrong verb form
has become
show examples
errorless and effortless.
Overall
it saves
time
and energy by participating and sharing
knowledge
and
data
improves
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
internationall
Correct your spelling
international
relationship
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
give rise to new job opportunities and increase the per capita income which
turns
Verb problem
results
show examples
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
the growth of
economy
Add an article
the economy
show examples
.Today world is a global village because of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technology
and
technology
grow
Correct subject-verb agreement
grows
show examples
when
heterogenous
Replace the word
heterogeneous
show examples
ideas
comes
Change the verb form
come
show examples
together for hypothesis and
research
.
For instance
in past for educational
research
peers had to do a lot of struggle to search
data
Change preposition
for data
show examples
nowadays it's easy peasy
just
Change preposition
with just
show examples
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
one click on
mobile
Add an article
a mobile
the mobile
show examples
laptop
by surviving
Change preposition
survive
show examples
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
just because of technological innovation and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
knowledge
from the whole world . In conclusion,
this
is necessary to keep ideas to yourself for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
security reasons but In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
it's best to share
knowledge
to
surve
Correct your spelling
serve
in scientific
research
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
which is always for the betterment of mankind until
unless
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
it is Misused .Science and
technology
makes
Change the verb form
make
show examples
the country progressive socially ,economically and politically.
Submitted by asrakazmi447 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
For higher marks in coherence and cohesion, work on linking your ideas and examples more clearly and use a wider range of cohesive devices effectively. Cohesion refers to the flow of sentences and paragraphs into one another, and this is slightly lacking in your essay.
Task Achievement
Your essay addresses the task, but a stronger, more explicit thesis statement would improve this score. Work on establishing your viewpoint more prominently in the introduction and consistently reinforce it throughout the essay.
Task Achievement
Develop your ideas more fully by exploring implications, nuances, and complexities of the topic. Extract the significance of examples and discuss them more deeply to demonstrate clear, comprehensive thinking.
Task Achievement
To achieve a higher band score, make sure to provide more detailed and specific examples to support your arguments. General statements should be backed by precise details that enhance the persuasive power of your essay.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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