IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some believe that it is good to share as much as information as possible in scientific and academic work others believe that some information is too valuable to share discuss both sides and give your opinion

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It has been a controversial issue: some people think that sharing
knowledge
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 about business,
technology
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 and education is beneficial
while
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 others disagree
due to
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cencerns
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concerns
 about private
data
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.
Although
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 hidden
informations
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information
pieces of information
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 and methods have many pros for
development
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the development
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 and growth of
nation
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nations
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 and companies.I
believed
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believe
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 that
this
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 is a positive step to share
knowledge
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 and discuss globally for the betterment
in
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of
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technology
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. On the one hand ,behind each and every advancement there are large numbers of people ,their hard work and
time
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 there is
threat
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a threat
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,
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apply
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if
data
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 goes viral and copy by someone else who even didn't invest his
time
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 and money and earn
reward
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a reward
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 from the other person work who burns midnights oil to grow and
succes
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succeed
success
 in specific field .
furthermore
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 they misuse
data
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 which is not good for the mankind.
For instance
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 famous Pakistani milk company
reveal
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revealed
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 their formula to grow internationally which in turn
leads
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led
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 to great loss in the company budget as many local businesses copied that formula and
start
Wrong verb form
started
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 selling in public
on
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at
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the
Correct article usage
a
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Cheeper
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cheaper
 rate .
Thus
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this
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 think comes to mind that some policies are
to
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too
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 private to share because they can
provide
Verb problem
cause
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 loss to a community. On
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the ther
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ther
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other
 hand , today is the
time
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 of science and
technology
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 and science is a logical application with hypothetical
statement
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statements
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 in which
a
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apply
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different experiments are conducted which leads to
research
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 ,discovery and innovation.
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Moreover
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Moreover,
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technology
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 has made
the
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apply
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life very comfortable and work
becomes
Wrong verb form
has become
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 errorless and effortless.
Overall
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 it saves
time
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 and energy by participating and sharing
knowledge
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 and
data
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 improves
the
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apply
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internationall
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international
 relationship
and
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apply
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which
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apply
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give rise to new job opportunities and increase the per capita income which
turns
Verb problem
results
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to
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in
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 the growth of
economy
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the economy
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.Today world is a global village because of
the
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apply
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technology
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 and
technology
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grow
Correct subject-verb agreement
grows
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 when
heterogenous
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heterogeneous
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 ideas
comes
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come
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 together for hypothesis and
research
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.
For instance
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 in past for educational
research
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 peers had to do a lot of struggle to search
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data
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for data
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 nowadays it's easy peasy
just
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with just
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on
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apply
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one click on
mobile
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a mobile
the mobile
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 laptop
by surviving
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survive
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internet
Correct article usage
the internet
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this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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just because of technological innovation and
the
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apply
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knowledge
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 from the whole world . In conclusion,
this
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 is necessary to keep ideas to yourself for
the
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apply
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security reasons but In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
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 it's best to share
knowledge
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 to
surve
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serve
 in scientific
research
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and
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apply
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which is always for the betterment of mankind until
unless
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apply
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it is Misused .Science and
technology
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makes
Change the verb form
make
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 the country progressive socially ,economically and politically.

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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear structure with distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. While you have made an attempt to structure your essay appropriately, transitions between ideas could be smoother, and paragraphs could be more focused on specific points.
Coherence and Cohesion
For higher marks in coherence and cohesion, work on linking your ideas and examples more clearly and use a wider range of cohesive devices effectively. Cohesion refers to the flow of sentences and paragraphs into one another, and this is slightly lacking in your essay.
Task Achievement
Your essay addresses the task, but a stronger, more explicit thesis statement would improve this score. Work on establishing your viewpoint more prominently in the introduction and consistently reinforce it throughout the essay.
Task Achievement
Develop your ideas more fully by exploring implications, nuances, and complexities of the topic. Extract the significance of examples and discuss them more deeply to demonstrate clear, comprehensive thinking.
Task Achievement
To achieve a higher band score, make sure to provide more detailed and specific examples to support your arguments. General statements should be backed by precise details that enhance the persuasive power of your essay.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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