The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#aim #science #people #lives

Nowadays, there is a belief that

science

should be implemented by improving

general

Correct article usage

the general

show examples

conditions of

human’s

Change noun form

human

show examples

lives

. I agree with

this

idea

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

because

science

is related to our health and

participated

Wrong verb form

participates

show examples

in physical inventions that play significant

role

Fix the agreement mistake

roles

show examples

in our

lives

Initially

science

helps to improve

healthcare

Add an article

the healthcare

show examples

system. In modern times, there are numerous companies, which are created new types of medicines and devices that are able to cure patients with a wide variety of diseases.

In addition

, some of them

improves

Change the verb form

improve

show examples

previous methods and approaches of treating to transform them into more effective among the audience.

For example

, pharmaceutical companies created drugs that can remain stable and support the previous quality of life among patients with HIV. Mostly, these inventions are based on

scientific

Correct article usage

the scientific

show examples

rules of biology and chemistry.

Thus

science

has

significant

Add an article

a significant

show examples

influence on our health conditions. Following

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the statement, it can be observed

Correct article usage

the

show examples

importance of

science

in our everyday routine. Nowadays, the majority of people all around the world use electronic devices and gadgets to solve the main demands. The invention of the

21-st

Correct your spelling

21st

century has an origin, which is related to the important areas of

science

: mathematics and physics.

For instance

, in

Correct article usage

the 80-s

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80-s

Correct your spelling

80s

Steve Jobs invented his first personal computer, because of his

broaden

Replace the word

broad

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horizons in applied sciences.

As a result

this

invention has

Add a missing verb

had a

show examples

positive impact, which

Verb problem

has

show examples

helped us to minimize

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

time

spending

Replace the word

spent

show examples

and to realize our plans and daily needs with more convenience. In

this

case,

science

is playing a considerable role in

technology

Add an article

the technology

show examples

field, which

Verb problem

has

show examples

positively affected

Change preposition

apply

show examples

our

lives

. In conclusion, I’m for the phenomenon that

science

should be aimed to improve our

lives

. It has a positive impact on medicine, which is supported

general

Correct article usage

the general

show examples

condition of our

lives

Also

, it helps to create items, which are affected

Change preposition

show examples

our daily demands and

changed

Wrong verb form

change

show examples

our vision

Change preposition

show examples

routine

Add an article

a routine

the routine

show examples

for

Correct article usage

the

show examples

bright side.

Submitted by fedorusa2016 on Sat Dec 09 2023

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task achievement

The essay demonstrates a clear position throughout, but at times, ideas are only partially developed and lack detailed support. Ensure that each paragraph contains one main idea, which is then explored and supported by specific details and examples.

coherence cohesion

Paragraphing is used, but at times ideas are not logically sequenced, which disrupts the flow of the essay. Work on using a wider range of cohesive devices to better link ideas and paragraphs. For logical structure, ensure that each paragraph flows naturally into the next, and that the introduction and conclusion are cohesive and succinct.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
28Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

315 words

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

crucial role
technological advancements
medical discoveries
life-changing inventions
innovations
solutions to human problems
enhancing quality of life
improvement of healthcare
transportation
communication
agriculture
energy sectors
eradication of diseases
prolongation of life expectancy
global challenges
climate change
overpopulation
food security
developed world
underprivileged communities

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The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people believe online materials should only be used for children to learn to read. while other believe only printed reading materials should be used. Discuss both views and give your opinions.

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

The bar shows the percentage of people going to cinemas in one European country on different days.

a lot of places in the world rely on tourism as a main source of income. unfortunately, tourism can also be a source of problems is is not managed correctly. describe the advantages and disadvantages of tourism in the modern world. do you think that benefist of tourism outweight its drawbacks?