The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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Nowadays, there is a belief that
science
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should be implemented by improving
general
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the general
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conditions of
human’s
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human
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lives
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. I agree with
this
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idea
,
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apply
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because
science
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is related to our health and
participated
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participates
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in physical inventions that play significant
role
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roles
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in our
lives
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.
Initially
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,
science
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helps to improve
healthcare
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the healthcare
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system. In modern times, there are numerous companies, which are created new types of medicines and devices that are able to cure patients with a wide variety of diseases.
In addition
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, some of them
improves
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improve
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previous methods and approaches of treating to transform them into more effective among the audience.
For example
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, pharmaceutical companies created drugs that can remain stable and support the previous quality of life among patients with HIV. Mostly, these inventions are based on
scientific
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the scientific
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rules of biology and chemistry.
Thus
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,
science
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has
significant
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a significant
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influence on our health conditions. Following
to
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apply
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the statement, it can be observed
an
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the
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importance of
science
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in our everyday routine. Nowadays, the majority of people all around the world use electronic devices and gadgets to solve the main demands. The invention of the
21-st
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21st
century has an origin, which is related to the important areas of
science
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: mathematics and physics.
For instance
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, in
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the 80-s
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80-s
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80s
Steve Jobs invented his first personal computer, because of his
broaden
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broad
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horizons in applied sciences.
As a result
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,
this
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invention has
a
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had a
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positive impact, which
is
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has
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helped us to minimize
the
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apply
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time
spending
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spent
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and to realize our plans and daily needs with more convenience. In
this
Linking Words
case,
science
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is playing a considerable role in
technology
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the technology
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field, which
is
Verb problem
has
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positively affected
on
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apply
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our
lives
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. In conclusion, I’m for the phenomenon that
science
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should be aimed to improve our
lives
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. It has a positive impact on medicine, which is supported
general
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the general
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condition of our
lives
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.
Also
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, it helps to create items, which are affected
on
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by
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our daily demands and
changed
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change
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our vision
on
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of
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routine
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a routine
the routine
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for
a
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the
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bright side.
Submitted by fedorusa2016 on

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task achievement
The essay demonstrates a clear position throughout, but at times, ideas are only partially developed and lack detailed support. Ensure that each paragraph contains one main idea, which is then explored and supported by specific details and examples.
coherence cohesion
Paragraphing is used, but at times ideas are not logically sequenced, which disrupts the flow of the essay. Work on using a wider range of cohesive devices to better link ideas and paragraphs. For logical structure, ensure that each paragraph flows naturally into the next, and that the introduction and conclusion are cohesive and succinct.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial role
  • technological advancements
  • medical discoveries
  • life-changing inventions
  • innovations
  • solutions to human problems
  • enhancing quality of life
  • improvement of healthcare
  • transportation
  • communication
  • agriculture
  • energy sectors
  • eradication of diseases
  • prolongation of life expectancy
  • global challenges
  • climate change
  • overpopulation
  • food security
  • developed world
  • underprivileged communities
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