Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organization. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?
Recently, more individuals have chosen not to work for others and be their own boss.
This
essay will discuss the probable reasons for this
decision, as well as
the disadvantages.
To begin
with, nowadays people are pursuing the job-satisfaction more than before, some may not find it when they are doing other’s orders. As a result
, they might search it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
in
being self-employed. Change preposition
for
Moreover
, the matter is the income, which can be a significant part of a job, sometimes the company may have a large share of what customer pays. To clarify this
, when a graphic designer draws a logo for a brand, all the money that is
paid is theirs, when they are a freelancer. In addition
, some view their current employment as a career dead-end, so they might choose to have their own business to prosper better.
However
, There
are some Fix capitalization
there
challanges
Correct your spelling
challenges
in
being self-employed. Change preposition
to
Firstly
, finding customers could be difficult at first,
but working for a company removes the concerns of this
case. Looking back at the designer, having new projects and finding customers to work with can be a challenging thing for them. Secondly
, there is a chance of failure in newly established businesses, the reason is that the business presents fierce competition, thus
it could be hard for small ones to take place in it. Finally
, they may not have any income at first,
and due to
this
, there may be some difficult months or even years financially.
In conclusion, individuals may find it better to run their own business, in case to be more satisfied and prosperous. However
, there are some drawbacks in this
decision that may affect the financial situation as well as
the risk of becoming jobless.Submitted by Farzaneh Ka on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear progression of ideas throughout the essay, with each paragraph smoothly flowing into the next using appropriate cohesive devices. While there was a logical structure, improvements can be made in linking sentences more fluidly.
coherence cohesion
To improve your score, ensure that the introduction and conclusion clearly address the prompt and encapsulate the main points of the essay. These sections were present but could be refined to better summarize the essay's arguments and conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Support each main point with a clear explanation or example. In this essay, while most points were supported, some could have been better illustrated with more specific examples that were fully developed. This would strength the argumentation and clarity of the essay.
task achievement
To achieve a higher band score, ensure that all parts of the task are addressed completely. While the essay provided a good response to the prompt, there could be a deeper exploration of the 'why' behind the trend towards self-employment, and more varied disadvantages discussed.
task achievement
Clarify and expand upon your ideas to enhance their comprehensiveness. The ideas presented in the essay were generally clear but can be expanded further to provide a more thorough understanding to the reader.
task achievement
Incorporate more relevant and specific examples to enhance your argument and demonstrate a clear understanding of the topic. Some were provided, but additional, more detailed examples can augment the persuasiveness of your points.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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