Government spend a lot of money on education. More money should be spent on free time activities. To what extent do agree or disagree?

#government #money #education #time #activities

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The

government

assigns considerable money to

education

This

is important for people because they may ignore the recreational

activities

, which as vital. I partially agree value of leisure

activities

for students. Undoubtedly, spending money on

education

very

Rephrase

apply

show examples

essential for the nation. If people are educated, can nurture another generation very well.

Also

, they could have higher-paid jobs in their field of expertise, which can help to economic society.

For instance

, if the

government

pay attention to the deprived and educates them, they will be successful in the future and they can change the situation of their family. So

education

would be most meaningful for any nation.

On the other hand

, free-time activity is just as important as

education

. The

government

should not ignore it, as it can improve learning, especially for children and teenagers. The

government

can regulate leisure

activities

which is beneficial to find people's interests and talents.

For example

, any city must have a place for children to learn about different jobs in the form of games and entertainment. knowing their interests makes the learning platform more targeted.

To sum up

while

I agree the cost of tutoring is useful for society, I believe that

education

along with

recreational

activities

can be more effective, so it will be worth spending.

Submitted by siina.arabii on Sun Dec 10 2023

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Introduction/Conclusion

Your essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion that restates the topic and your opinion. Ensure you start with an introductory paragraph that paraphrases the given statement and ends with a clear thesis statement. Conclude your essay with a summarizing paragraph that encapsulates your main viewpoints.

Supporting Points

While you have provided some main points, they need to be better supported with specific examples and deeper explanations to strengthen your argument.

Logical Structure

There is a need for improved logical structuring. Your ideas should flow in a systematic order, and your paragraphs should follow a clear progression of ideas. Make use of linking words and transition phrases to guide the reader through your arguments.

Task Response

You must address the task more completely. The essay should include a more balanced discussion on why you agree or disagree with the statement, supported by reasons and examples. Make sure you respond directly to the questions posed in the task.

Language Use

Use a wider range of vocabulary and sentence structures to convey your ideas. Varying your language use can make your essay more engaging and demonstrate your linguistic capabilities.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

213 words

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Government spend a lot of money on education. More money should be spent on free time activities. To what extent do agree or disagree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

The two pie charts demonstrates how the local government has spent its money in different sectors in the year 2000 and 2010. The funding was fairly constant in some areas but changed dramatically in others over the course of the decade.

Many small, local shops are closing as they are unable to compete with large supermarkets in the area. How does this affect local communities? How could this situation be improved?

‏For centuries, important parts of education have remained such as reading, writing and math. With the advent of computers, some people think that computer skill be made as a fourth skill to be added to the list. To what extend do you agree?

Some people think it is more important to spend money on roads and motorways than on public transport systems. To what extent do you agree or disagree? (Agree or Disagree)

For many people, the reason they work hard is to earn money. To what extent do you agree or disagree?