Government spend a lot of money on education. More money should be spent on free time activities. To what extent do agree or disagree?

#government #money #education #time #activities

The

government

assigns considerable money to

education

This

is important for people because they may ignore the recreational

activities

, which as vital. I partially agree value of leisure

activities

for students. Undoubtedly, spending money on

education

very

Rephrase

apply

show examples

essential for the nation. If people are educated, can nurture another generation very well.

Also

, they could have higher-paid jobs in their field of expertise, which can help to economic society.

For instance

, if the

government

pay attention to the deprived and educates them, they will be successful in the future and they can change the situation of their family. So

education

would be most meaningful for any nation.

On the other hand

, free-time activity is just as important as

education

. The

government

should not ignore it, as it can improve learning, especially for children and teenagers. The

government

can regulate leisure

activities

which is beneficial to find people's interests and talents.

For example

, any city must have a place for children to learn about different jobs in the form of games and entertainment. knowing their interests makes the learning platform more targeted.

To sum up

while

I agree the cost of tutoring is useful for society, I believe that

education

along with

recreational

activities

can be more effective, so it will be worth spending.

Submitted by siina.arabii on Sun Dec 10 2023

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Introduction/Conclusion

Your essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion that restates the topic and your opinion. Ensure you start with an introductory paragraph that paraphrases the given statement and ends with a clear thesis statement. Conclude your essay with a summarizing paragraph that encapsulates your main viewpoints.

Supporting Points

While you have provided some main points, they need to be better supported with specific examples and deeper explanations to strengthen your argument.

Logical Structure

There is a need for improved logical structuring. Your ideas should flow in a systematic order, and your paragraphs should follow a clear progression of ideas. Make use of linking words and transition phrases to guide the reader through your arguments.

Task Response

You must address the task more completely. The essay should include a more balanced discussion on why you agree or disagree with the statement, supported by reasons and examples. Make sure you respond directly to the questions posed in the task.

Language Use

Use a wider range of vocabulary and sentence structures to convey your ideas. Varying your language use can make your essay more engaging and demonstrate your linguistic capabilities.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

213 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Government spend a lot of money on education. More money should be spent on free time activities. To what extent do agree or disagree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Due to the development and rapid expansion of supermakets in some countries, many small and local business are unable to compete. Some people think that the closure of local business will bring about the death of local communities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In many countries, women are allowed to take maternity leave from their jobs during the first year after the birth of their baby. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

More and more people no longer read newspaper or watch TV programs to get news. They get news about the world through the Internet. Is this a positive or negative development?

You are going to take a short holiday in Singapore and you want to rent a holiday apartment while you are there. Write a letter to the tourist information office. In your letter: -Explain what you need -Say when you plan to be there -Ask for information about prices

Some people think it is one of the best ways to solve environmental problems by increasing the cost of fuels for cars and other vehicles. To what extent do you agree or disagree?