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Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some people prefer to rent accommodations while others buy their own home. Does renting a house or apartment have more advantages than buying one?

#people #rent #accommodations #home #house #apartment
One group of people prefer to buy their own apartments,
while
other
Correct quantifier usage
another
show examples
 group rent different accommodation. Personally, I assume, that renting a flat is more suitable for the vast majority of society.
However
, there are negative effects,
such
 as unstable economics or the feeling, that you never can be sure about the lessor. On the one hand, renting accommodation is a good choice for people, especially for youth.
This
 gives the young generation numerous opportunities ,
such
 as travelling or the possibility to move to another place, whenever they want. It is very inherently for the young age bracket, so there are more positive effects out of
this
.
For instance
, the statistic, that was done in the UK by Cambridge University in 2021 showed, that 80% of youth prefer to lease apartments, rather than buy them.
On the other hand
, there is a huge problem with economics in most of the countries now.
Consequently
, the rental price is unstable, which can lead to the impossibility of paying for the occupancy.
In contrast
, it is not harmful for individuals, who have their own house.
For example
, a huge drop in the
economics
Replace the word
economy
show examples
 was experienced by Spain in 2020, so around 50% of people were unable to pay for flats. In conclusion, I would say, that letting accommodations is a better option, rather than purchasing,
due to
 the enormous number of possibilities without place bindings,
nevertheless
,
this
 option is not suitable for everyone.
Submitted by katiakardash07 on

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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, ensure that your essay follows a clear, logical structure. Break down your points into paragraphs with clear topic sentences that align with the overall argument of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Make sure the introduction and conclusion are present and clearly state the topic and the writer's viewpoint. They should also directly address the prompt of the essay.
coherence cohesion
When discussing main points, it's crucial to back them up with supporting details. To elevate your essay further, try to introduce a wider range of examples and evidence to substantiate your arguments.
task achievement
For task achievement, ensure that your essay fully responds to the prompt with a complete argument or opinion. Consider all parts of the task when forming your response.
task achievement
Try to express ideas more clearly and comprehensively. Organizing ideas logically and ensuring that each paragraph progresses the argument will enhance clarity and understanding.
task achievement
When using examples, aim to provide specific and relevant instances that clearly support your argument and illustrate your points convincingly. Avoid being too general, and instead offer detailed and particular examples.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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