IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart below shows how frequently people in USA are in fast food restaurants between 2003 and 2013.

The bar chart below shows how frequently people in USA are in fast food restaurants between 2003 and 2013.
#bar #people #usa #food #restaurants
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The given bar chart illustrates the information about
people
Use synonyms
 in the USA who often visited fast
food
Use synonyms
 restaurants in the
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
 from 2003 to 2013.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that the highest amount of customers
visiting
Wrong verb form
visit
show examples
 outlets once a week or once or twice a month in a given period of time
while
Linking Words
 the very least amount of
people
Use synonyms
 went every day and some never visited these restaurants.
To begin
Linking Words
, most of the customers are recorded once a week almost 35% in 2006 which is the highest and just above 30% in 2003
whereas
Linking Words
 in 2013 it is around 27% only.
However
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 who ate fast
food
Use synonyms
 in a month once or twice reached almost 35% in 2013
while
Linking Words
 only 25% of them went there in 2006.
However
Linking Words
, eating fast
food
Use synonyms
 every day is comparatively very low throughout the years. In all years less than 5% of visitors encountered and
this
Linking Words
 is
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 as the number of
people
Use synonyms
 who never went
any
Change preposition
to any
show examples
 restaurant.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 who visited a few times a year
almost
Add a missing verb
were almost
show examples
 the same around 15%
while
Linking Words
 eating fast
food
Use synonyms
 several times a week
also
Linking Words
 the same amount in the years 2003 and 2013 but 20% of individuals went in 2006.
Submitted by me.sara22 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, food with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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