Some people think that it is better for students to work before their university studies. Do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Students
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

who
graduated
Wrong verb form
graduate

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb graduated. Consider changing it.

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from
school
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

are suggested to work by several people
,
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma before the dependent clause marker before. Consider removing the comma.

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before they continue for higher education. In my opinion, I cannot agree with
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

idea because high
school
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

curriculum
Fix the agreement mistake
curricula

It seems that curriculum may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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are not suitable yet for a professional setting.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

essay will explain why
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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students
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

have to continue their education first rather than working. First of all,
students
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

who just graduated from high
school
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

mainly do not know which job or professional setting
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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they are willing to choose in the future. The main reason why they have little information is because the
school
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

does not give an introduction
about
Change preposition
to

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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job markets. To be more precise, It shows the difference between schools and universities. At universities,
usually
Add a comma
usually,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase usually. Consider adding a comma.

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they
provides
Change the verb form
provide

It appears that the subject pronoun they and the verb provides are not in agreement. Consider changing the verb.

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the
students
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

with a career service centre, so the
students
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

can get
an information
Remove the article
information
a piece of information

The indefinite article, an, may be redundant when used with the uncountable noun information in your sentence. Consider removing it.

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about types of job and companies as much as they can.
Secondly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
university
Correct article usage
the university

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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encourage the
students
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

to explore many subjects in a specific program. That shows another difference because in high
school
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

they have to be focused on many subjects.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, a student who is highly interested in physics still
need
Change the verb form
needs

The plural verb need does not appear to agree with the singular subject student. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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to take a class in social subjects
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as history.
Hence
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the university offers
a
Remove the article
apply

The indefinite article, a, may be redundant when used with the uncountable noun learning in your sentence. Consider removing it.

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more focused learning than high
school
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

so the
students
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

can be prepared for a specific position. In conclusion,
newly
Change the word
new

Newly seems to be the wrong part of speech for this context.

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high
school
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

graduates are not recommended to be involved in
working
Correct article usage
a working

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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environment because of
lack
Correct article usage
a lack

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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of knowledge.
Moreover
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, it is better for them to continue for
a
Remove the article
apply

The indefinite article, a, may be redundant when used with the uncountable noun education in your sentence. Consider removing it.

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higher education, either to study
in
Change preposition
at

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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a university or to
enroll
Change the spelling
enrol

The spelling of enroll is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

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for
Change preposition
on

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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a vocational
school
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

that offers a specific subject with
practical oriented
Add a hyphen
practical-oriented

It seems that practical oriented is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

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modules.
Submitted by nadhif2799 on

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task achievement
Ensure that each main point in your essay is well supported by specific examples or explanations. You can often improve your score by incorporating statistics, citing research, or using hypothetical scenarios that clearly illustrate your points.
coherence cohesion
Work on developing a more logical structure within your paragraphs and across the essay as a whole. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea, supported by detailed explanation and example. Transitions between sentences and ideas should be smooth and easy to follow.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are purposeful but could be more impactful. Be sure to succinctly summarize the main points of your argument in both, and attempt to provide a final thought or implication in your conclusion to give your essay a sense of closure.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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