Some people think that hosting an international sports event is good for the country, while some people think it is bad. Discuss both views and state your opinion.

#people #sports #event #country

Some people think it is bad

held

Change the verb form

to hold

show examples

International

Correct article usage

an International

show examples

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

event

while

others think it is good become

hosting

Wrong verb form

host

show examples

an International

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

event

. In my view, I agree if we become

housting

Correct your spelling

hosting

housing

an International

event

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

because there are many benefits.

As country

Wrong verb form

Countries

show examples

which

held

Wrong verb form

hold

show examples

a International

Correct the article-noun agreement

International sports

an International sport

show examples

sports

has

Correct subject-verb agreement

have

show examples

bring

Change the verb form

brought

show examples

bigger incomes to those countries. There are many

touries

Correct your spelling

tourists

will

Correct pronoun usage

who will

show examples

come from around the world to watch live

thats

Correct your spelling

that

event

, which

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

can

developt

Correct your spelling

develop

show examples

revenues by visa.

For instance

, FIFA Junior World Cup in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

Indonesia in 2023, there are many

touries

Correct your spelling

tourists

tourist

stories

came to watch live to

supports

Wrong verb form

support

show examples

their countries played.

Moreover

, we can

representing

Change the verb form

represent

be representing

show examples

our

cultures

and

tourisme

Correct your spelling

tourism

sports

. By international

sports

, the government can use

thoses

Correct your spelling

those

moment

Fix the agreement mistake

moments

show examples

to promote

tourisme

Correct your spelling

tourism

and

cultures

. For

examples

Fix the agreement mistake

example

show examples

, Qatal

Correct your spelling

was

show examples

the housing of

FIFA

Correct article usage

the FIFA

show examples

World Cup in 2022,

they

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

used it to show their

cultures

Fix the agreement mistake

culture

show examples

muslim

Change the capitalization

Muslim

show examples

countires

Correct your spelling

countries

and promoted luxury

tourisme

Correct your spelling

tourism

Change preposition

show examples

other

Correct article usage

the other

show examples

hand, there are negative side,

whereas

Correct article usage

the

show examples

governtment

Correct your spelling

government

will spend more money to

supports

Wrong verb form

support

show examples

internasional

Correct your spelling

international

sports

such

as building new

sport center

Fix the agreement mistake

sports centers

show examples

which need a lot of money. Whilst, it is better

donated

Change the verb form

to donate

show examples

that money to homeless people or

building

Wrong verb form

build

show examples

publics

Correct your spelling

public

show examples

infrastructures.

To sum up

Change preposition

apply

show examples

international

sports

event

has

gave

Change the form of the verb

given

show examples

more benefits to increase finances to

thoses

Correct your spelling

those

countries

has

Wrong verb form

that have

show examples

experiented

Correct your spelling

experienced

international

suports

Correct your spelling

support

Whereas

, there are negative problems like social issues. Throughout international

suports

Correct your spelling

support

Fix the agreement mistake

events

show examples

event

Add a comma

event,

show examples

we can

promoted

Change the verb form

promote

show examples

our

cultures

and

tourisem

Correct your spelling

tourism

Submitted by misstiasclassroom on Mon Dec 11 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

There are multiple grammatical errors and instances of awkward phrasing that hinder the clarity of the essay's message. To improve the logical structure of your essay, you should first correct these language issues. Additionally, make sure that your ideas are presented in a more organized manner with clear topic sentences and logical progression from one point to the next.

task achievement

While you have addressed the prompt by presenting both sides and your own opinion, the depth of explanation and development of ideas is somewhat limited. Your opinion is clear, but you could strengthen task achievement by presenting more balanced and thoroughly developed arguments for both views before providing a conclusion that logically follows from the body of your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
54Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

232 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

Topic Vocabulary:

economic boost
infrastructure
national pride
cultural showcase
inspire a generation
temporary boost
environmental concerns
sustainable planning
public funds
divert resources
tourism influx
job opportunities
sports development
public health
construction
strategic investment
global audience
hospitality
public services
cost-benefit analysis

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4
band
Today more and more people are overweight than before. What in your opinion are the primary causes of this. What are main affects of this epidemic.
At the end of 10th grade, I explored a new sphere with outrageous potential, Web 3.0. This field is about speculating digital pictures that have value in this community. At the beginning of my way, I started taking courses , and then day by day I made NFT a part of my daily routine and consequently, I started earning my livelihood. However, after 1 year, while working I spotted that very talented creators who are constantly making high-quality NFTs went unnoticed by the community. At this point, I realized that I wanted to help them and started planning my own ecosystem, where artists could buy a place at my project and then I could send out their creations to every volunteer for free, for just entering 1 use code that can be obtained from other accounts every 2 weeks, every month, moreover, these NFTs can be sold in platforms such as magiceden.io, tensor.trade, coral.cube. So, everyone has their own profit, people can receive NFTs from artists and are able to evaluate them, and al...
8.5
band
In some countries, there have been schemes to encourage older professional people to retrain as school teachers. Do you feel that this is likely to have beneficial effects on education? Support your point of view with reasons and/or examples from your own experience.
Nowadays, it is becoming common for some countries to encourage older professional people to retrain as school teachers. However, I disagree that this scheme will bring positive impacts for two reasons.
4
band
The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by almost 20% in the last decade. discuss the causes and effects of this disturbing trend.
In the last decade, the proportion of obese children has increased by nearly 20% in Western society. There are many reasons leading to obesity and its effects, such as the wider spread of technology causing mental harm. Moreover, the poor diet may lead to health issues.
6.5
band
‏Some people believe that arts (such as painting and music) do not improve people’s life therefore the government should not spend money on it. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Numerous individuals argue that fine arts like visual arts and music do not enhance folk's life so the government ought not to spend money on it. In my opinion, I strongly disagree with the given statement and I will elaborate on it in this essay.
6
band
in many countries today, crime novels and TV crime dramas are becoming more and more popular, Why do you think these books and TV shows are popular? What is your opinion of crime fiction and TV crime dramas?
Nowadays, crime stories have cast all over the world. Indeed, this genre is becoming popular day by day. This essay will look at the probable reasons for this reputation, before turning to my personal perspective.

Some people think that hosting an international sports event is good for the country, while some people think it is bad. Discuss both views and state your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Today more and more people are overweight than before. What in your opinion are the primary causes of this. What are main affects of this epidemic.

In some countries, there have been schemes to encourage older professional people to retrain as school teachers. Do you feel that this is likely to have beneficial effects on education? Support your point of view with reasons and/or examples from your own experience.

The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by almost 20% in the last decade. discuss the causes and effects of this disturbing trend.

‏Some people believe that arts (such as painting and music) do not improve people’s life therefore the government should not spend money on it. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

in many countries today, crime novels and TV crime dramas are becoming more and more popular, Why do you think these books and TV shows are popular? What is your opinion of crime fiction and TV crime dramas?