Some people think that hosting an international sports event is good for the country, while some people think it is bad. Discuss both views and state your opinion.

#people #sports #event #country

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Some people think it is bad

held

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to hold

show examples

International

Correct article usage

an International

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sport

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sports

show examples

event

Use synonyms

while

Linking Words

others think it is good become

hosting

Wrong verb form

host

show examples

an International

sport

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sports

show examples

event

Use synonyms

. In my view, I agree if we become

housting

Correct your spelling

hosting

housing

an International

event

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Remove the comma

apply

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because there are many benefits.

As country

Wrong verb form

Countries

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which

held

Wrong verb form

hold

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a International

Correct the article-noun agreement

International sports

an International sport

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sports

Use synonyms

has

Correct subject-verb agreement

have

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bring

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brought

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bigger incomes to those countries. There are many

touries

Correct your spelling

tourists

will

Correct pronoun usage

who will

show examples

come from around the world to watch live

thats

Correct your spelling

that

event

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, which

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

can

developt

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develop

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revenues by visa.

For instance

Linking Words

, FIFA Junior World Cup in

the

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apply

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Indonesia in 2023, there are many

touries

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tourists

tourist

stories

came to watch live to

supports

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support

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their countries played.

Moreover

Linking Words

, we can

representing

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represent

be representing

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our

cultures

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and

tourisme

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tourism

sports

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. By international

sports

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, the government can use

thoses

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those

moment

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moments

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to promote

tourisme

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tourism

and

cultures

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. For

examples

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example

show examples

, Qatal

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was

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the housing of

FIFA

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the FIFA

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World Cup in 2022,

they

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apply

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used it to show their

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cultures

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culture

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muslim

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Muslim

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countires

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countries

and promoted luxury

tourisme

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tourism

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show examples

other

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the other

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hand, there are negative side,

whereas

Linking Words

Correct article usage

the

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governtment

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government

will spend more money to

supports

Wrong verb form

support

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internasional

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international

sports

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such

Linking Words

as building new

sport center

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sports centers

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which need a lot of money. Whilst, it is better

donated

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to donate

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that money to homeless people or

building

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build

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publics

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public

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infrastructures.

To sum up

Linking Words

Change preposition

apply

show examples

international

sports

Use synonyms

event

Use synonyms

has

gave

Change the form of the verb

given

show examples

more benefits to increase finances to

thoses

Correct your spelling

those

countries

has

Wrong verb form

that have

show examples

experiented

Correct your spelling

experienced

international

suports

Correct your spelling

support

Whereas

Linking Words

, there are negative problems like social issues. Throughout international

suports

Correct your spelling

support

Use synonyms

Fix the agreement mistake

events

show examples

event

Add a comma

event,

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we can

promoted

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promote

show examples

our

cultures

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and

tourisem

Correct your spelling

tourism

Submitted by misstiasclassroom on Mon Dec 11 2023

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coherence cohesion

There are multiple grammatical errors and instances of awkward phrasing that hinder the clarity of the essay's message. To improve the logical structure of your essay, you should first correct these language issues. Additionally, make sure that your ideas are presented in a more organized manner with clear topic sentences and logical progression from one point to the next.

task achievement

While you have addressed the prompt by presenting both sides and your own opinion, the depth of explanation and development of ideas is somewhat limited. Your opinion is clear, but you could strengthen task achievement by presenting more balanced and thoroughly developed arguments for both views before providing a conclusion that logically follows from the body of your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
54
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

232 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

economic boost
infrastructure
national pride
cultural showcase
inspire a generation
temporary boost
environmental concerns
sustainable planning
public funds
divert resources
tourism influx
job opportunities
sports development
public health
construction
strategic investment
global audience
hospitality
public services
cost-benefit analysis

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Some people think that hosting an international sports event is good for the country, while some people think it is bad. Discuss both views and state your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Technology is becoming progressively universal. In the fullness of time, classroom teachers will be totally substituted for technology. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people say in order to prevent illness and disease. government should focus on reducing evironmental pollution and housing problems. To what extend do you agree or disagree

It is not necessary for people to travel to other places to learn about the culture.We can learn as much as from boks, films, and the Internet. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

More and more people are becoming seriously overweight. Some people suggest that the solution to this problem is to increase the price of fattening foods. To what extent do you agree or disagree?