Some people think that hosting an international sports event is good for the country, while some people think it is bad. Discuss both views and state your opinion.
Some people think it is bad
held
Change the verb form
to hold
International
Correct article usage
an International
sport
Change the noun form
sports
event
, while
others think it is good become hosting
an International Wrong verb form
host
sport
Change the noun form
sports
event
. In my view, I agree if we become housting
an International Correct your spelling
hosting
housing
event
,
because there are many benefits.
Remove the comma
apply
As country
which Wrong verb form
Countries
held
Wrong verb form
hold
a International
Correct the article-noun agreement
International sports
an International sport
sports
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
bring
bigger incomes to those countries. There are many Change the verb form
brought
touries
Correct your spelling
tourists
will
come from around the world to watch live Correct pronoun usage
who will
thats
Correct your spelling
that
event
, which is
can Unnecessary verb
apply
developt
revenues by visa. Correct your spelling
develop
For instance
, FIFA Junior World Cup in the
Indonesia in 2023, there are many Correct article usage
apply
touries
came to watch live to Correct your spelling
tourists
tourist
stories
supports
their countries played.
Wrong verb form
support
Moreover
, we can representing
our Change the verb form
represent
be representing
cultures
and tourisme
by Correct your spelling
tourism
sports
. By international sports
, the government can use thoses
Correct your spelling
those
moment
to promote Fix the agreement mistake
moments
tourisme
and Correct your spelling
tourism
cultures
. For examples
, Qatal Fix the agreement mistake
example
as
the housing of Correct your spelling
was
FIFA
World Cup in 2022, Correct article usage
the FIFA
they
used it to show their Correct pronoun usage
apply
cultures
as Fix the agreement mistake
culture
muslim
Change the capitalization
Muslim
countires
and promoted luxury Correct your spelling
countries
tourisme
.
Correct your spelling
tourism
In
Change preposition
On
other
hand, there are negative side, Correct article usage
the other
whereas
Correct article usage
the
governtment
will spend more money to Correct your spelling
government
supports
Wrong verb form
support
internasional
Correct your spelling
international
sports
, such
as building new sport center
which need a lot of money. Whilst, it is better Fix the agreement mistake
sports centers
donated
that money to homeless people or Change the verb form
to donate
building
Wrong verb form
build
publics
infrastructures.
Correct your spelling
public
To sum up
, By
international Change preposition
apply
sports
event
has gave
more benefits to increase finances to Change the form of the verb
given
thoses
countries Correct your spelling
those
has
Wrong verb form
that have
experiented
international Correct your spelling
experienced
suports
. Correct your spelling
support
Whereas
, there are negative problems like social issues. Throughout international suports
Correct your spelling
support
Fix the agreement mistake
events
event
we can Add a comma
event,
promoted
our Change the verb form
promote
cultures
and tourisem
.Correct your spelling
tourism
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coherence cohesion
There are multiple grammatical errors and instances of awkward phrasing that hinder the clarity of the essay's message. To improve the logical structure of your essay, you should first correct these language issues. Additionally, make sure that your ideas are presented in a more organized manner with clear topic sentences and logical progression from one point to the next.
task achievement
While you have addressed the prompt by presenting both sides and your own opinion, the depth of explanation and development of ideas is somewhat limited. Your opinion is clear, but you could strengthen task achievement by presenting more balanced and thoroughly developed arguments for both views before providing a conclusion that logically follows from the body of your essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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