In some countries, teenagers have jobs while they are still students. Do you think this is a good idea? Support your opinion by using specific reasons and details.

#countries #teenagers #jobs #students #idea #support

Eduaction

Correct your spelling

Education

plays a crucial role in people's lives. At present in many nations,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

pupils can work

while

they are

studied

Wrong verb form

studying

show examples

in school and college

due to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

financial

problem

Fix the agreement mistake

problems

show examples

as well as

getting practical

experience

. I consider

this

Change the verb form

to be

show examples

the best plan for

students

This

essay shall discuss it briefly in the following paragraphs.

To begin

with, there

are

Change the verb form

show examples

large

Change the article

a large

the large

show examples

number

Fix the agreement mistake

numbers

show examples

of peers

are

Correct pronoun usage

who are

show examples

working

while

they are studying

due to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

financial issues, they have to pay the

tution

Correct your spelling

tuition

fee

Change preposition

apply

show examples

themself because their family situations are not financially

supported

Replace the word

supportive

show examples

. Part-time jobs can help the student's

tution

Correct your spelling

tuition

fee

along with

other material expenses too.

For instance

, the UK has given

permit

Change the form of the verb

permits

show examples

Change preposition

for to

show examples

pupils

can

Verb problem

apply

show examples

work

while

they attend classes like part-time employment. These types of

assistence

Correct your spelling

assistance

peers can lead to completing their study courses without

Add an article

a drop

show examples

drop

Wrong verb form

dropping

show examples

and all

students

might be finished the high school level without any

intrupts

Correct your spelling

interrupts

Furthermore

, practical

experience

can

get by

Verb problem

be obtained from

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

part-time work

while

studying pupils. They can easily understand

about

Change preposition

apply

show examples

life, money cannot easily earn that and there

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

so much

hardwork

Correct your spelling

hard work

are

Change the verb form

show examples

needed. Certainly,

this

kind of real-time

experience

might be a good and

hardwork

Correct your spelling

hardworking

hard work

person in future.

For example

, many Indian

students

are paid

tutions

Correct your spelling

tuition

fees by part-time employment,

therefore

, their academic results are good as compared to the others who financially

depends

Change the verb form

depend

show examples

on their parents. Studying

while

working can give

Correct pronoun usage

them more

show examples

responsible

Replace the word

responsibility

show examples

and they clearly know about value of the money.

To conclude

, part-time jobs can give more benefits to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

students

who economically suffer in order to they can pay their own course fees

Change preposition

with

show examples

their earnings, they can get a

real life

Add a hyphen

real-life

show examples

experience

from

this

Therefore

, I think studying

while

part-time working is a good idea for peers.

This

trend drives more benefits to society.

Submitted by reanudeepan on Mon Dec 11 2023

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task achievement

Ensure that the introduction clearly outlines the essay's stance and the main points that will be discussed. Avoid ambiguities and be more concise in the thesis statement.

coherence and cohesion

Work on connecting ideas and paragraphs more logically, using a clear line of reasoning. Employ a variety of connective words or phrases to enhance the flow of information.

task achievement

Avoid repetition of ideas and try to expand on the points with more depth and analysis. Make sure examples are relevant and specific to support arguments more effectively.

coherence and cohesion

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
36Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

298 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In some countries, teenagers have jobs while they are still students. Do you think this is a good idea? Support your opinion by using specific reasons and details.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

some people think that employers should not care about the way their employees dress, because what matters is the quality of their work. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

As technology has advanced, there is almost no gender difference when applying for any job in any sector. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

At present time the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Some universities students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Other believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.