You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic. Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people,however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.
Some
disputes
the economic Fix the agreement mistake
dispute
growth
of the country
is their most important goal. The economic
Correct article usage
Economic
growth
and other types of progress are equally important and these are closely related to each other however
i
would prefer to argue, not to Change the capitalization
I
justifying
priority among them.
Expanding the Wrong verb form
justify
economy
of a country
will not only expand the economical
Replace the word
economic
growth
of a country
. If annual
income of Add an article
the annual
country's
Correct article usage
a country's
indiviudual
Correct your spelling
individual
persons's
increases the annual income of a Change noun form
persons
country
will also
increases
. Change the verb form
increase
Similarly
, all other components should be increased to increase the economic growth
of a country
. Moreover
, as industries and businesses may be nurtured effectively under economic growth
, more employment opportunities are likely to be created, followed by a decrease in unemployed workforces. Consequently
, officials may believe that their societies will be more satisfied by the economy
, although
several factors have a role to play.
In the first place, even though the economy
plays a vital role, its progress can require certain objectives, especially specialized and well-educated workforces, which can be achieved via a high-quality educational system. Therefore
, to be motivated and energetic, people should enhance their spiritual life through recreational activities. This
is where artistic activities positively impact societies, from cinema to theatre or even music concerts. As a result
, a cluster of factors, on which the economy
itself is highly dependent, should be taken into consideration, so that a lack of each of them can interrupt economic goals as well as
a happier society.
In conclusion, in my opinion, the economy
and other sectors should be equally improved. This
is because not only does economic growth
need in other areas but also
citizens need different kinds of services.Submitted by insighttribez on
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task achievement
The essay presents an attempt to address the prompt, but it lacks a clear introduction and conclusion that encapsulate the writer's own opinion clearly. The main body of the essay requires more specific development to directly address the comparisons between economic progress and other types of progress.
coherence cohesion
There are issues with logical structuring and flow. The essay does hit on some relevant points, but the progression of ideas is not entirely clear. It would benefit from better organization of paragraphs and clearer topic sentences.
task achievement
To enhance task achievement, ensure to fully address all parts of the prompt: discuss both views equally and clearly state your own opinion. Include examples that are directly relevant to the arguments you're presenting.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, use cohesive devices effectively and structure your paragraphs clearly, each with a single idea supported by specific evidence or examples.