IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people say that the only reason for learning a foreign language is in order to travel to or work in a foreign country. Others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foreign language. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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It is undeniable that foreign language has become an essential part of our life.
However
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, there is no absolute agreement on whether
languages
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 should be learned because of
oppotunities
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opportunities
 to travel to another country or reason of other causes. I tend to believe, that the most important reason for studying another language is
chance
Correct article usage
the chance
show examples
 to travel or study without any challenges. A commonly held belief is that knowledge of other
languages
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 creates
opportunity
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opportunities
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 to travel or work abroad. Nowadays,
vast
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the vast
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 majority of
graduaters
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graduates
graduate
studying
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study
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 in different countries which
mean
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means
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 that
Correct article usage
the needs
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needs
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need
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 for learning
languages
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 rapidly
increase
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increases
show examples
. As evidence of
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this
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this,
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 they point to UNESCO research which was in 2021 and contains
statistic
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statistical
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 data that shows 65 per cent of
Russia
Replace the word
Russian
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 students go
for
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to
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studyinf
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study
 in Europe. It could be explained by the fact that in Europe
level
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the level
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 of education is higher
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by
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in
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 contrast
Russia
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to Russia
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.
On the other hand
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, some people claim that there are other reasons
of
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for
show examples
 learning
languages
Use synonyms
.
For example
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, they may mention that studying
languages
Use synonyms
 can be
simple
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a simple
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 hobby which can be liked
to
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by
show examples
 people.
In addition
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, recent
researches
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research
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proove
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proves
 that learning new
languages
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 takes 4
place
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places
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in
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at
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 the top of the most popular hobbies.
As a result
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, some people can learn
languages
Use synonyms
 just for fun without the
needs
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need
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for traveling
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to travel
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 or work abroad. In conclusion, taking everything mentioned into
accaunt
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account
 I can say that the most important cause of studying other
languages
Use synonyms
 is
traveling
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travelling
show examples
 and working in other countries without meeting difficulties in communication.
However
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, there will be another part of
population
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the population
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 which believes that there are a lot of reasons
besides
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 the main one.

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task achievement
You've made a commendable effort in presenting a balanced view on the topic, integrating both sides of the argument. However, to enhance clarity, consider elaborating further on each point with more specific examples.
task achievement
For a stronger argument, ensure examples are accurate and up-to-date. The UNESCO reference is a good start, but verify that such statistics are current and correctly cited.
coherence cohesion
Your essay flows smoothly from one idea to the next, which is excellent for reader comprehension. Consider refining the transition between paragraphs for an even more seamless flow.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence, try to ensure consistency in your argumentation by avoiding contradictions or unclear statements. Clear and concise statements strengthen your essay.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction effectively sets up the essay topic, and your conclusion succinctly summarizes your viewpoint, which is great for structure.
task achievement
Efforts to tackle both views on the importance of learning a foreign language show a good understanding of the essay topic.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • multilingual
  • linguistic proficiency
  • globalized world
  • cross-cultural communication
  • immersive experience
  • adaptability
  • cultural exchange
  • interpersonal skills
  • employment prospects
  • empathy
  • intellectual development
  • overcome language barriers
  • global market
  • resourceful
  • life-changing
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