IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people say that the only reason for learning a foreign language is in order to travel to or work in a foreign country. Others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foreign language. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #reason #language #travel #work #country #someone
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is undeniable that foreign language has become an essential part of our life.
However
Linking Words
, there is no absolute agreement on whether
languages
Use synonyms
 should be learned because of
oppotunities
Correct your spelling
opportunities
 to travel to another country or reason of other causes. I tend to believe, that the most important reason for studying another language is
chance
Correct article usage
the chance
show examples
 to travel or study without any challenges. A commonly held belief is that knowledge of other
languages
Use synonyms
 creates
opportunity
Fix the agreement mistake
opportunities
show examples
 to travel or work abroad. Nowadays,
vast
Add an article
the vast
show examples
 majority of
graduaters
Correct your spelling
graduates
graduate
studying
Wrong verb form
study
show examples
 in different countries which
mean
Correct subject-verb agreement
means
show examples
 that
Correct article usage
the needs
show examples
needs
Correct subject-verb agreement
need
show examples
 for learning
languages
Use synonyms
 rapidly
increase
Correct subject-verb agreement
increases
show examples
. As evidence of
Linking Words
this
Add a comma
this,
show examples
 they point to UNESCO research which was in 2021 and contains
statistic
Replace the word
statistical
show examples
 data that shows 65 per cent of
Russia
Replace the word
Russian
show examples
 students go
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
studyinf
Correct your spelling
study
 in Europe. It could be explained by the fact that in Europe
level
Correct article usage
the level
show examples
 of education is higher
Linking Words
by
Change preposition
in
show examples
 contrast
Russia
Change preposition
to Russia
show examples
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some people claim that there are other reasons
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 learning
languages
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, they may mention that studying
languages
Use synonyms
 can be
simple
Add an article
a simple
show examples
 hobby which can be liked
to
Change preposition
by
show examples
 people.
In addition
Linking Words
, recent
researches
Fix the agreement mistake
research
show examples
proove
Correct your spelling
proves
 that learning new
languages
Use synonyms
 takes 4
place
Change to a plural noun
places
show examples
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the top of the most popular hobbies.
As a result
Linking Words
, some people can learn
languages
Use synonyms
 just for fun without the
needs
Fix the agreement mistake
need
show examples
for traveling
Change preposition
to travel
show examples
 or work abroad. In conclusion, taking everything mentioned into
accaunt
Correct your spelling
account
 I can say that the most important cause of studying other
languages
Use synonyms
 is
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 and working in other countries without meeting difficulties in communication.
However
Linking Words
, there will be another part of
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
 which believes that there are a lot of reasons
besides
Linking Words
 the main one.
Submitted by dnm.best on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
You've made a commendable effort in presenting a balanced view on the topic, integrating both sides of the argument. However, to enhance clarity, consider elaborating further on each point with more specific examples.
task achievement
For a stronger argument, ensure examples are accurate and up-to-date. The UNESCO reference is a good start, but verify that such statistics are current and correctly cited.
coherence cohesion
Your essay flows smoothly from one idea to the next, which is excellent for reader comprehension. Consider refining the transition between paragraphs for an even more seamless flow.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence, try to ensure consistency in your argumentation by avoiding contradictions or unclear statements. Clear and concise statements strengthen your essay.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction effectively sets up the essay topic, and your conclusion succinctly summarizes your viewpoint, which is great for structure.
task achievement
Efforts to tackle both views on the importance of learning a foreign language show a good understanding of the essay topic.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • multilingual
  • linguistic proficiency
  • globalized world
  • cross-cultural communication
  • immersive experience
  • adaptability
  • cultural exchange
  • interpersonal skills
  • employment prospects
  • empathy
  • intellectual development
  • overcome language barriers
  • global market
  • resourceful
  • life-changing
What to do next:
Look at other essays: