In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

#countries #home #people #be #case #situation

this

present world,

home

is very important and the importance of

home

is constantly on the rise.In many states,having a

home

is more important than renting

one

for individuals.I think that owning a

home

is a positive situation.Considering

people

's freedom

as well as

the wish of owning a

home

will prove

this

. There are several reasons for many wanting to buy a and live in their own

home

One

of the reasons is that because of the inflation and housing crisis, the

rent

has increased significantly.

This

sometimes becomes unaffordable for common

people

to continue to pay the

rent

In addition

, it seems to be unfair to them to pay a huge amount of

rent

to cover someone else’s mortgage.

In contrast

people

can buy their

home

and use the

rent

money to pay off their own mortgage, resulting in owning an asset that can be passed on to their children. I think that

this

positive

Correct article usage

a positive

show examples

situation

due to

the following reasons.

Firstly

,the freedom of

people

is very important to them,when it comes to

home

For instance

,it is generally considered that

people

can do anything they want, without

Change preposition

apply

show examples

any interference from others.As well no

one

can possess the power to answer them.

In other words

,you can live in it

according to

your own decision.Unfortunately,

this

is a point that a renting

home

can not provide.

Therefore

this

makes it clear that being the owner of a house is more important than a renting

home

for

people

in some countries.

Secondly

, everyone has a wish to have a

home

For instance

,it is widely known that possessing a

home

this

inflation hits

Correct your spelling

inflation-hitting

show examples

world is

very

Rephrase

apply

show examples

vital for

people

.So,that they can look at other needs of life.Sadly,

this

favour is not provided by a charterhouse.

Thus

,it becomes apparent that owning a

home

is very important for

people

in some nations. In conclusion,having a

home

provides freedom

Change preposition

apply

show examples

them

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

and

everyoneone

Correct your spelling

everyone one

everyone

has a wish to have

Correct pronoun usage

one

show examples

As a result

it is clear that

owning a house is much more important than renting

one

.After

thorough

Add an article

a thorough

show examples

analysis of

this

topic,it is recommended that having a house is a positive situation and has its own importance for

people

than a charter

one

in many countries.

Submitted by jamalashraf45 on Mon Dec 11 2023

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task achievement

The essay did cover the prompt and provided a stance on the situation about the importance of home ownership versus renting. However, the response could be more fully developed with clearer and more comprehensive explanations, and more persuasive arguments. The introduction should clearly outline the reasons to be discussed, and the body should explore these reasons in depth with supporting examples before drawing a clear conclusion. This will help in meeting task response criteria effectively.

coherence cohesion

The essay's structure is somewhat coherent, with recognizable paragraphs and an attempt at an introduction and conclusion. Nonetheless, transition phrases could be used more effectively to create a smooth flow between ideas. It is important to ensure that each paragraph has a central idea and that supporting sentences are related, directly extending the argument. To improve cohesion, the essay should include better signposting and logical sequencers to connect points and paragraphs seamlessly.

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14Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

360 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

ownership
renting
importance
sense of security
stability
financial investment
asset
customize
decorate
belonging
community
potential
future generations
long-term
cost advantage
control
living space

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In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Some people say that the only reason for learning a foreign language is in order to travel to or work in a foreign country. Others say that these are not the only reason why someone should learn a foreign language. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.