In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?
In
this
present world,home
is very important and the importance of home
is constantly on the rise.In many states,having a home
is more important than renting one
for individuals.I think that owning a home
is a positive situation.Considering people
's freedom as well as
the wish of owning a home
will prove this
.
There are several reasons for many wanting to buy a and live in their own home
. One
of the reasons is that because of the inflation and housing crisis, the rent
has increased significantly. This
sometimes becomes unaffordable for common people
to continue to pay the rent
. In addition
, it seems to be unfair to them to pay a huge amount of rent
to cover someone else’s mortgage. In contrast
, people
can buy their home
and use the rent
money to pay off their own mortgage, resulting in owning an asset that can be passed on to their children.
I think that this
is positive
situation Correct article usage
a positive
due to
the following reasons.Firstly
,the freedom of people
is very important to them,when it comes to home
.For instance
,it is generally considered that people
can do anything they want, without of
any interference from others.As well no Change preposition
apply
one
can possess the power to answer them.In other words
,you can live in it according to
your own decision.Unfortunately,this
is a point that a renting home
can not provide.Therefore
,this
makes it clear that being the owner of a house is more important than a renting home
for people
in some countries.Secondly
, everyone has a wish to have a home
.For instance
,it is widely known that possessing a home
in this
inflation hits
world is Correct your spelling
inflation-hitting
very
vital for Rephrase
apply
people
.So,that they can look at other needs of life.Sadly,this
favour is not provided by a charterhouse.Thus
,it becomes apparent that owning a home
is very important for people
in some nations.
In conclusion,having a home
provides freedom to
Change preposition
apply
them
and Correct pronoun usage
apply
everyoneone
has a wish to have Correct your spelling
everyone one
everyone
it
.Correct pronoun usage
one
As a result
,it is clear that
owning a house is much more important than renting one
.After thorough
analysis of Add an article
a thorough
this
topic,it is recommended that having a house is a positive situation and has its own importance for people
than a charter one
in many countries.Submitted by jamalashraf45 on
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task achievement
The essay did cover the prompt and provided a stance on the situation about the importance of home ownership versus renting. However, the response could be more fully developed with clearer and more comprehensive explanations, and more persuasive arguments. The introduction should clearly outline the reasons to be discussed, and the body should explore these reasons in depth with supporting examples before drawing a clear conclusion. This will help in meeting task response criteria effectively.
coherence cohesion
The essay's structure is somewhat coherent, with recognizable paragraphs and an attempt at an introduction and conclusion. Nonetheless, transition phrases could be used more effectively to create a smooth flow between ideas. It is important to ensure that each paragraph has a central idea and that supporting sentences are related, directly extending the argument. To improve cohesion, the essay should include better signposting and logical sequencers to connect points and paragraphs seamlessly.
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