Wild animals have no place in the 21st century, so protecting them is a waste of resources To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.
Wild
animals
are animals
isolated from cities, as well as
, humans
. This
Correct determiner usage
These
animals
cannot adapt to live in their surroundings,
and prefer to live in the forests that are their original habitat. Some people argue that it is pointless to spend money on the protection of wild Remove the comma
apply
animals
,
because we Remove the comma
apply
humans
have no need for them. I completely disagree with this
point of view.
In my opinion, it is illogical to say that there is no place for wild animals
in the 21st century. I do not believe that planet Earth exists only to serve humans
or only animals
that can live among them, and there is nothing special about this
century that we suddenly have the right to allow this
Change the determiner
this animal
these animals
animals
to become extinct and not give any attention or importance to their habitats. Furthermore
, there is no logical reason why we should let animals
die out. We should not temper with any of the creatures in this
world, and everything was created for a reason. Also
, has the right to live with systems in place for living.
I also
disagree with the idea that protecting animals
is a waste of resources. Protecting natural resources, whatever they are, is usually one of the most important thing
that the environment focuses on. Protecting wild Change to a plural noun
things
animals
will be one of the important elements, especially since scientists have agreed that this
is also
necessary because this
wild Change the determiner
these
animals
serve humans
in many respects. For example
, rainforest
produce oxygen, absorb co2 and the stability of the Earth's climate. Fix the agreement mistake
rainforests
In addition
, wild animals
help maintain the environmental balance as well as
in the animal world, and countries that have wild animals
will even benefit from obtaining leather, ivory and fur. Also
, some of them will be used in preparing medicines.
In conclusion, wild animals
have a role and a right to live, and we must protect them in their habitats because they are important to the Earth and nature.Submitted by aljoori95 on
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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that the logical structure of your arguments flows naturally from paragraph to paragraph. Use a range of cohesive devices but do so where they are necessary.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present and generally well-formed, but they could be strengthened by including a summary of main points and a reinforcement of your stance in the concluding paragraph.
Coherence and Cohesion
Support your main points with more developed examples and explanations to fully elaborate on your arguments. The use of specific examples, such as citing scientific studies or statistics, can enhance the persuasiveness of your essay.
Task Achievement
You have addressed the prompt fully with a clear position throughout your essay. However, try to avoid overly general statements and ensure that all paragraphs contribute to your argument regarding the prompt.
Task Achievement
Express your ideas more comprehensively by expanding on them with further explanation or examples. Doing this will help the reader to understand your perspective fully and see the link between your arguments and the overall topic.
Task Achievement
Integrate more specific and relevant examples to substantiate your arguments. Include real-world instances or refer to particular studies or data where possible, as this will lend credibility to your position.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example