Task 2 Many developed counties now have large numbers of people over the age 65 . What problems might this cause ? . How can the problems be solved
Ageing
population
is one of the crucial and inevitable isuue
in our world. Most Correct your spelling
issues
of
developed Change preposition
apply
countries
’ rate of individuals who are older than 65 has been increasing recently. This
pattern may lead to several drawbacks like an economical
burden on the Replace the word
economic
countries
’ budged
and difficulties Correct your spelling
budget
for
finding Change preposition
in
work
labor
for Change the spelling
labour
business
. This
essay will explain these problems
and will recommend some solutions like arrenging
immigration policy and implementing laws in order to mend insurance systems.
Thanks to the technological development in the Correct your spelling
arranging
fieald
of medicine, the Correct your spelling
field
fields
overall
age has been
increased in recent days. Unnecessary verb
apply
Hence
, people have started to live after they had
retired more years than Wrong verb form
have
previous
time. Add an article
the previous
As a result
, each individual’s cost for countries
has risen and become a strain on the budget. Especially, their medicalcare
costs Correct your spelling
medical care
has
spiked recently. Another problem is when Change the verb form
have
population
Correct article usage
the population
aged
, finding young employees has become challenging, which has an elementary role in order to achieve success in Wrong verb form
ages
business
for any company. Refreshed brains and eager workers may carry their workplaces on the top and may support holding that position. Unfortunately, many developed countries
are suffering from the lackless
of Correct your spelling
lack
young
and educated workforce. Correct article usage
a young
To sum up
, it should be always keep
in Change the verb form
be always kept
minds
that Fix the agreement mistake
mind
Correct article usage
the ageging
ageging
Correct your spelling
ageing
population
many
end up Correct your spelling
may
several
Change preposition
with several
problems
in terms of the budget of countries
and diffuculties
Correct your spelling
difficulties
to
Change preposition
in
fing
Correct your spelling
finding
work
labor
.
Finding effective solutions requires to focus on the root reasons. Change the spelling
labour
For instance
, solving the
financial Correct article usage
apply
problems
may be needed implementing
new insurance Change the verb form
to implement
policy
Fix the agreement mistake
policies
by
governments. Policymakers may implement new regulations and may create new sources to afford senior citizen’s life Change preposition
in
cost
. In turn, the burden on Fix the agreement mistake
costs
countries
’ budged
may decrease. Correct your spelling
budget
On the other hand
, measuring the other problems
, losing work
force
in Correct your spelling
workforce
business
, authorities may regulate their laws and may provide some incentivies
for well-educated and young individuals who live in developing Correct your spelling
incentives
incentive
countries
like Turkey, South
Africa. In Correct word choice
and South
this
way, the companies and the country may continue to develop. To wrap up, governments may prevent the problems
engaged in the ageing population
by regulating the law
and rules of their Fix the agreement mistake
laws
countries
.
To conclude
, due to
the advanced technology and improved healthcare services
the Add a comma
services,
overall
life span has been increased. Unfortunately, this
phenomenon may result in some diffuculties
like financial strainCorrect your spelling
difficulties
,
and Remove the comma
apply
lackless
young Correct your spelling
luckless
reckless
backless
work
labor
. Change the spelling
labour
Lucikly
, there are several alternatives to avoid these concerns Correct your spelling
Luckily
such
as regulating laws related to business
world and insurance companies. Add an article
the business
Policymarkers
should be aware of these issues and concentrate on finding solutions.Correct your spelling
Policymakers
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structure
Your essay structure needs significant improvement. An essay should comprise an introduction that sets the context and outlines the main points, followed by body paragraphs that each focus on a single main point, and a clear conclusion that summarises the arguments made and restates the writer's position. It is important that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that the ideas are logically ordered from one to the next.
language
Work on varying your sentence structures to improve readability and flow. Employing a range of structures, such as compound and complex sentences, enhances coherence. Use cohesive devices appropriately to ensure the essay flows well. This includes transitional phrases, referencing and substitution.
development
Develop main points with specific examples and explanations. While you addressed the problems and solutions associated with aging populations, the points sometimes lacked detailed support. Ground your arguments with appropriate examples, data, or hypothetical scenarios to enhance credibility and demonstrate a wider range of language.
task response
Your task response requires improvement. Ensure you directly and fully answer the question posed, discussing the implications of the issues raised and considering different aspects of the problem. In this case, both the causes of the problems and the proposed solutions should be discussed in equal measure.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.
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