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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart below shows the top ten counties for the production and consumption of electricity in 2014. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart below shows the top ten counties for the production and consumption of electricity in 2014. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#bar #ten #counties #production #consumption #electricity #information #features #comparisons
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The chart illustrates how much
electricities
Replace the word
electricity
show examples
 were generated and consumed by
top-ranking
Correct article usage
the top-ranking
show examples
 ten countries in 2014. At
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
first glance, it is noticeable that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
China
was
Verb problem
has
show examples
 the highest production and consumption of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
electricity,
in contrast
Linking Words
 with Korea, which
was
Verb problem
had
show examples
 the lowest. In terms of the top-five rank, China,
US
Correct article usage
the US
show examples
, Russia, Japan, and India produced
the
Correct article usage
apply
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electricity in the range of 5,398
billion
Use synonyms
kWh
Use synonyms
 to 871
billion
Use synonyms
kWh
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 number was slightly different with the consumption. China still acted as the number 1 usage (5,322
billion
Use synonyms
kWh
Use synonyms
),
Linking Words
then
Rephrase
apply
show examples
followed by
same
Correct article usage
the same
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 countries as mentioned earlier, which accounted for 3,866;1,038; 856,7; and 698,9
billion
Use synonyms
kWh
Use synonyms
, respectively. In regard to the above five
rank
Change to a plural noun
ranks
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, 618,9
billion
Use synonyms
kWh
Use synonyms
 was produced by people in Canada and it was higher than
other
Correct article usage
the other
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 4 countries (France, Brazil, Germany, and
Correct article usage
the Korea
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Korea
Correct your spelling
Korean
show examples
 Republic). Contrariwise, the number of consumption in Germany was the topmost (582.5
billion
Use synonyms
kWh
Use synonyms
)
while
Linking Words
 Canada, France, Brazil, and
Correct article usage
the Korea
show examples
Korea
Correct your spelling
Korean
show examples
 Republic took place of the following positions, which were seventh to tenth, consecutively.
Submitted by e.warikar on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words billion, kwh with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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