In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
Urbanisation
would impact the population density in the city
since the rural people move to the city
. The increase should be supported by the development of basic infrastructure including settlements, water, public transportation, and health facilities. As a result
, urban citizens
are provided with their basic needs. In reality, the development of urbanisation
is faster than the development of basic infrastructure , especially the developing countries. Consequently
, these circumstances have impacted the environment. For instance
, Jakarta, the capital city
of Indonesia, experiencing bad air quality and scarcity of drinking water due to
massive urbanisation
.
In addition
, if the city
is not ready to provide a proper livelihood for the urban citizens
such
as settlements and job opportunities, it causes a high price of land ownership that the citizens
cannot afford the proper house in the town. Consequently
, some housing developers build the
housing in the sub-urban, which causes urban sprawl and a decrease in the green Correct article usage
apply
area
in the sub-urban. Fix the agreement mistake
areas
For example
, people who work in Jakarta are living in sub-urban areas such
as Bekasi, Bogor, Depok, and Tangerang because of the high prices of land ownership in Jakarta province.
In conclusion, urbanisation
has a negative impact on the environment especially if the City
Government cannot provide the basic needs of the urban citizens
. Consequently
, the government together with
stakeholders should plan the city
based on a sustainability approach.Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on
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task response
Provide a clearer thesis statement in the introduction to guide the reader about your stance on urbanisation.
coherence and cohesion
Use a variety of cohesive devices to better link ideas and paragraphs.
task response
Consider expanding your discussion by exploring both positive and negative aspects of urbanisation for a more balanced view.
coherence and cohesion
Enhance the conclusion by summarising the key points made in the essay more explicitly and restating your position.
task response
Relevant examples such as Jakarta to illustrate points about urbanisation effects.
coherence and cohesion
The essay structure is logical, with a clear progression from the introduction of the issue to the conclusion.
Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.
A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).
Stick to this essay structure:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion