In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

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Urbanisation

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would impact the population density in the

city

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since the rural people move to the

city

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. The increase should be supported by the development of basic infrastructure including settlements, water, public transportation, and health facilities.

As a result

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, urban

citizens

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are provided with their basic needs. In reality, the development of

urbanisation

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is faster than the development of basic infrastructure , especially the developing countries.

Consequently

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, these circumstances have impacted the environment.

For instance

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, Jakarta, the capital

city

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of Indonesia, experiencing bad air quality and scarcity of drinking water

due to

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massive

urbanisation

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In addition

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, if the

city

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is not ready to provide a proper livelihood for the urban

citizens

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such

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as settlements and job opportunities, it causes a high price of land ownership that the

citizens

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cannot afford the proper house in the town.

Consequently

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, some housing developers build

the

Correct article usage

apply

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housing in the sub-urban, which causes urban sprawl and a decrease in the green

area

Fix the agreement mistake

areas

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in the sub-urban.

For example

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, people who work in Jakarta are living in sub-urban areas

such

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as Bekasi, Bogor, Depok, and Tangerang because of the high prices of land ownership in Jakarta province. In conclusion,

urbanisation

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has a negative impact on the environment especially if the

City

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Government cannot provide the basic needs of the urban

citizens

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Consequently

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, the government

together with

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stakeholders should plan the

city

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based on a sustainability approach.

ru.kabiru.biruMon Dec 11 2023

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task response

Provide a clearer thesis statement in the introduction to guide the reader about your stance on urbanisation.

coherence and cohesion

Use a variety of cohesive devices to better link ideas and paragraphs.

task response

Consider expanding your discussion by exploring both positive and negative aspects of urbanisation for a more balanced view.

coherence and cohesion

Enhance the conclusion by summarising the key points made in the essay more explicitly and restating your position.

task response

Relevant examples such as Jakarta to illustrate points about urbanisation effects.

coherence and cohesion

The essay structure is logical, with a clear progression from the introduction of the issue to the conclusion.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction
Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

229 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

rural-to-urban migration
population shift
positive impact
negative impact
urbanization
job opportunities
access to education
access to healthcare
urban infrastructure
rural traditions
cultural heritage

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In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

Many people try to achieve success through their career or education. What can success mean to different people? What is your view of success?

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In some countries it is now illigal to reject someone applying for a job because of his or her age. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?