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Writing Samples /
Band 2

Somple people believe that opening zoos are helpful for educational purposes whereas, others believe that zoos must be close Discuss both the views and give your opinion

#somple #people #zoos #purposes
Your patient, Mrs Sally Fletcher, was admitted
in
Change preposition
to
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 Fairbanks Hospital on 25/03/2018 for the evaluation of
endometrial
Correct article usage
an endometrial
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 cyst. She is now ready for discharge. She
was having
Wrong verb form
had had
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 painful periods for the past 3 years, more localised to the lower left quadrant which
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
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 very frequent. Her pain didn't
setle
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settle
 despite taking
over the counter
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over-the-counter
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 analgesics naproxen. Her primary symptoms
was
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were
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 associated with occasional constipation, which shares the pain in
the
Correct article usage
a
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 similar location. She underwent trans-vaginal ultrasonography which revealed
6
Correct article usage
a 6
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cm endometrial cyst.
Hence
 patient was taken up for cyst removal under
laaroscopic
Correct your spelling
laparoscopic
 surgery today without any intra or
post operative
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post-operative
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 complications. she was advised to keep
Correct article usage
the incisions
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incisions
Change the noun form
incision
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 site clean and dry. As she is on analgesics, she has been advised to avoid driving for the next 24-48 hours.
Shew
Correct your spelling
She
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 can resume her normal diet, and
also
 her regular activities if she can
tolerate
Correct pronoun usage
tolerate them
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. Any queries, please contact me. Yours Sincerely
Submitted by insighttribez on

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coherence cohesion
The text provided is not an essay but rather a medical discharge summary which does not fit the IELTS essay criteria. An essay should have an introduction, body paragraphs with coherent points and a conclusion.
task achievement
The task requires a discussion on the views about zoos for educational purposes and their closure, with a clear expression of your opinion. Restate the question in your own words, present both sides of the argument, and conclude with your own viewpoint.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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