Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
The
time
that kids spend time
with their phones
is a lot today
. I believe this
is because the fact the level of technology we have reached. And it is a negative development. This
essay will discuss technological development as a reason and why it is a negative development.
Over the years, technology becomes
a serious part of our lives. When the Wrong verb form
has become
phones
first appeared, it was not a commonly used device among people. Today
, people of any age have smartphones and there are lots of platforms that keep your attention. With the technological developments we have done until today
, smartphones have lots of applications and platforms designed to capture our attention. Especially for children
, attractive themes, games, and fascinating visuals have appeared. That is
why not only adults,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
children
spend significant time
with their phones
. The article which has recently been published in the literature indicates that the conversations among children
always contain about the things they play or watch on their phones
and generally it is fiction-based.
Moreover
, I believe this
is a negative situation because children
who spend lots of time
with their smartphones can become addicted
and extremely introverted person. Communication is a key Add an article
an addicted
the addicted
for
self-growth and understanding life. With the lack of face-to-face interaction, Change preposition
to
children
may forget what real life is and they cannot develop Correct article usage
the self-confidence
self-confidence
that they need. Correct article usage
the self-confidence
For instance
, the sister of my friend has been a gamer since she was four. She has spent at least 7 hours a day with her phone and today
she is 12 without any real friends and using pills for her shyness before interacting with any people other than her family.
In conclusion, do the
Correct article usage
apply
children
spend a lot of time
with their phones
and is it a negative situation? With technological improvements, children
spend a lot of time
with their phones
because of their attractiveness and it is a negative situation because it is harmful to their self-development.Submitted by asik.melliss on
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coherence cohesion
The essay should have a clearer organization with more defined paragraphs. Introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion should be easily distinguishable with clear topic sentences.
task achievement
For task achievement, ensure that the essay covers all aspects of the task, providing a balance between the causes and implications of the issue. Include more extensive discussion and deeper analysis
coherence cohesion
Avoid redundancies and improve the essay's clarity by using a variety of sentence structures and a more developed vocabulary.
task achievement
Support your main points with specific, detailed examples. Use data or research to make your arguments more convincing and relevant.
coherence cohesion
An Introduction should present the topics to be discussed and your thesis. A conclusion needs to clearly summarize the main points made and restate your position effectively.
task achievement
Make sure to answer both parts of the question equally to fully satisfy the task achievement criteria. Discuss the reasons as well as the positive/negative development thoroughly.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite