Many countries have compulsory military service for young men after they leave school. It would be a good idea for all countries to adopt this system for men, and possibly for women too. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?
The
Correct article usage
A
major
number of states have an obligate military service for Correct your spelling
majority
youth
men after graduating their school. I completely agree with Correct your spelling
young
this
statement, as firstly
, it gives force to secure Correct article usage
the countrie's
countrie's
Correct your spelling
countries
country's
boarders
from other Correct your spelling
borders
states
invasions and Change noun form
states'
state's
secondly
, strengthen
Correct subject-verb agreement
strengthens
males
character.
Presently, we can see how quickly war conflicts can Fix the agreement mistake
male
beggin
and how crucial it is for each state to have a Correct your spelling
begin
beck
up plan. So, if males go to a military school. after receiving basic education, Correct your spelling
back
there
will be well-trained and instantly ready and able to act rapidly if something goes wrong inside of their country. The most obvious exampleCorrect pronoun usage
they
,
is the military system in Israel. One of the most powerful and safest on our planet.
Remove the comma
apply
In addition
, I believe, that it is vital for men to be physically strong and have a developed stamina in their temperament. We don't know what unpredictable situations can occur and what exactly is going to help us in surviving
. Wrong verb form
survive
For instance
, a fire, which is pretty common in Australia. If you trained well it is easier to live through it, just as simple as it can be. You may need to quickly escape from your house or you might won't
have Remove a modal verb
apply
a
Remove the article
apply
ubiquetous
access to water sources, so in Correct your spelling
ubiquitous
this
case
it is crucial to be well-prepared and what's more, on average the tutors Add a comma
case,
gives
you knowledge Correct subject-verb agreement
give
how
to deal with life-risky situations, Change preposition
of how
such
ad fire.
In conclusion, I can't see any drawbacks in completing military service and unfortunately, from my personal experience
I have an understanding Add a comma
experience,
how
Change preposition
of how
essencial
Correct your spelling
essential
this
is.Submitted by dashasokolova068 on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure the essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each paragraph should focus on a single idea, and the conclusion should summarize the arguments made throughout the essay without introducing new information.
coherence cohesion
Use a range of cohesive devices (e.g., linking words, pronouns, references) appropriately to help with the flow of the essay. Overuse or incorrect use can make the essay harder to follow.
coherence cohesion
Develop main points fully with explanations and specific details. Each paragraph should have a clear central topic that is elaborated upon.
task achievement
Make sure to fully address all parts of the task. Provide a clear opinion and back it up with appropriate arguments and examples. Avoid repetition and keep the information relevant to the question.
task achievement
Present ideas clearly and logically. Avoid jumping from thought to thought without finishing an argument. Provide a natural flow in the discussion for the reader to follow.
task achievement
Use more specific examples to support points. Personal examples are fine, but they should be relevant and detailed enough to convincingly support your arguments.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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