Many students choose to study at colleges and universities that are far away from the places where they grew up. Do the benefits of this outweigh the drawbacks?
Many high school graduates prefer to pursue higher education at a long distance from their hometown.
Although
they away
from their Add a missing verb
are away
family
financial support, I believe the positives outweigh the negatives because they can become more independent in different life aspects.
Young people frequently face financial problems if they decide to study away from home. Change noun form
family's
This
because
it is no longer possible to live in a parents’ house, they Add a missing verb
is because
star
to have more bills to pay by themselves Correct your spelling
start
such
as accommodations, utilities and food. For example
, in Saint Petersburg
the majority of Add a comma
Petersburg,
students
who came
Wrong verb form
come
form
Correct your spelling
from
others
cities are forced to have a part-time job Correct quantifier usage
other
in
the same time Change preposition
at
with
Change preposition
as
studies
, so they can pay all of their expenses there. I believe that Correct pronoun usage
their studies
this
helps students
to devolve essential skills for an
adulthood and Remove the article
apply
make
them more confident about it, so it is not a significant disadvantage.
The greatest advantage of studying in a far-off place Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
it
that young people Correct your spelling
is
allows
to experience what it is to be independent of their families. Leaving without parents’ supervision Wrong verb form
are allowed
give
them an opportunity to explore the world and themselves through their own perception, Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
it
leads to creating their lifestyle as adults. Correct pronoun usage
which
For instance
, at universities in Poland, it is noticeable that students
who came for studies and no longer live with parents
become more mature Correct pronoun usage
their parents
that
those who are still living at home, Correct word choice
than
this
is clearly because they are supported to be in charge of themselves fully. Therefore
, I would I
agree that the benefits of studying away from home are more considerable than the drawbacks.
In conclusion, going to study Correct pronoun usage
apply
to
a distant place can make Change preposition
in
students
struggle with finial issues, but the positives of being independent far outweigh that
the negatives.Correct word choice
apply
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task achievement
Your essay presents a clear position throughout the response, which is good for task achievement. However, it only partially addresses all parts of the task. Additionally, the ideas need to be expressed more comprehensively to fully satisfy the requirements of the prompt.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is somewhat apparent, but the progression of ideas could be improved. Use a wider range of cohesive devices to ensure the essay flows better, connecting ideas and paragraphs more effectively.
coherence cohesion
You have supported your main points, but the scope and depth of the support could be enhanced. Provide more developed examples and explanations to strengthen your arguments. This will make your essay more convincing and complete.
task achievement
Your essay includes relevant examples, but they could be more specific and detailed. Providing concrete evidence from reliable sources, or more vivid hypothetical scenarios can enrich the response and make it more persuasive.
language
Check for grammatical errors and typos that hinder the clarity of your essay. Accuracy in language use is essential in conveying your ideas effectively.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite
