Many students choose to study at colleges and universities that are far away from the places where they grew up. Do the benefits of this outweigh the drawbacks?

Many high school graduates prefer to pursue higher education at a long distance from their hometown.
Although
they
away
Add a missing verb
are away
show examples
from their
family
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family's
show examples
financial support, I believe the positives outweigh the negatives because they can become more independent in different life aspects. Young people frequently face financial problems if they decide to study away from home.
This
because
Add a missing verb
is because
show examples
it is no longer possible to live in a parents’ house, they
star
Correct your spelling
start
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to have more bills to pay by themselves
such
as accommodations, utilities and food.
For example
, in Saint
Petersburg
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Petersburg,
show examples
the majority of
students
who
came
Wrong verb form
come
show examples
form
Correct your spelling
from
show examples
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
cities are forced to have a part-time job
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
the same time
with
Change preposition
as
show examples
studies
Correct pronoun usage
their studies
show examples
, so they can pay all of their expenses there. I believe that
this
helps
students
to devolve essential skills for
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
adulthood and
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
them more confident about it, so it is not a significant disadvantage. The greatest advantage of studying in a far-off place
it
Correct your spelling
is
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that young people
allows
Wrong verb form
are allowed
show examples
to experience what it is to be independent of their families. Leaving without parents’ supervision
give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
show examples
them an opportunity to explore the world and themselves through their own perception,
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
leads to creating their lifestyle as adults.
For instance
, at universities in Poland, it is noticeable that
students
who came for studies and no longer live with
parents
Correct pronoun usage
their parents
show examples
become more mature
that
Correct word choice
than
show examples
those who are still living at home,
this
is clearly because they are supported to be in charge of themselves fully.
Therefore
, I would
I
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
agree that the benefits of studying away from home are more considerable than the drawbacks. In conclusion, going to study
to
Change preposition
in
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a distant place can make
students
struggle with finial issues, but the positives of being independent far outweigh
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the negatives.
Submitted by bbelozertseva on

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task achievement
Your essay presents a clear position throughout the response, which is good for task achievement. However, it only partially addresses all parts of the task. Additionally, the ideas need to be expressed more comprehensively to fully satisfy the requirements of the prompt.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is somewhat apparent, but the progression of ideas could be improved. Use a wider range of cohesive devices to ensure the essay flows better, connecting ideas and paragraphs more effectively.
coherence cohesion
You have supported your main points, but the scope and depth of the support could be enhanced. Provide more developed examples and explanations to strengthen your arguments. This will make your essay more convincing and complete.
task achievement
Your essay includes relevant examples, but they could be more specific and detailed. Providing concrete evidence from reliable sources, or more vivid hypothetical scenarios can enrich the response and make it more persuasive.
language
Check for grammatical errors and typos that hinder the clarity of your essay. Accuracy in language use is essential in conveying your ideas effectively.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural sensitivity
  • personal growth
  • adaptability
  • independence
  • self-reliance
  • specialized programs
  • networking
  • career opportunities
  • homesickness
  • cultural shock
  • financial strain
  • accommodation
  • cost of living
  • family relationships
  • emotional challenges
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