IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

You recently received a letter from a friend asking for advice about whether to go to college or to try to get a job. You think he/she should get a job. Write a letter to this friend. In your letter:college •say why he/she would not enjoy going to college •explain why getting a job is a good idea for him/her •suggest types of job that would be suitable for him/her

#friend #advice #college #job #•say #•explain #idea #•suggest
Dear Emre. Hi Emre,how are you? I hope you doing very well. I am writing to let you know that,
definetely
Correct your spelling
definitely
 I
advice
Replace the word
advise
show examples
to
Correct pronoun usage
you to
show examples
 get
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
work.In my opinion,you should
become
Verb problem
have
show examples
having new job because our country
has
Verb problem
is
show examples
 more expensive and the college has
bad
Correct article usage
a bad
show examples
 education.You need a lot of
money
 because of
lifestyle
Correct pronoun usage
your lifestyle
show examples
.I hope you will consider my idea positively immediately. Let me explain my
known
Replace the word
knowledge
show examples
, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
universities
have
Verb problem
do
show examples
 without education and materials and many people
let
Verb problem
leave
show examples
 their
universites
Correct your spelling
universities
university
 because
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
I never
go
Wrong verb form
went
show examples
 to high school.
Moreover
Add a comma
Moreover,
show examples
 some
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
 closed
for
Change preposition
because
show examples
 it has
not
Correct your spelling
no
show examples
money
.
For
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
 Adnan Menderes
university
Capitalize word
University
show examples
demolished
Add a missing verb
was demolished
show examples
 by
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
. I do not want to go to
unıversity
Correct your spelling
university
 you
On the other hand
, in my country is very expensive and everyone
need
Change the verb form
needs
show examples
 a
lot
Add the preposition
lot of
show examples
money
 after you
should
Verb problem
apply
show examples
become a new officer
then
 you can
win
Verb problem
earn
show examples
money
. you believe that really very
Correct your spelling
difficult
dificult
Correct your spelling
difficult
has
Change the verb form
to have
show examples
money
 Thank you for
consideration
Correct pronoun usage
your consideration
show examples
 with love, Ahmet
Submitted by ahmtkra771 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure clear paragraphing with each paragraph containing a central idea.
coherence cohesion
Use a variety of cohesive devices to better link ideas and create a flowing narrative.
coherence cohesion
The letter should have a clear opening and closing, but more polite beginnings and endings would be appropriate.
task achievement
Address all parts of the prompt in detail, providing specific reasons and examples to support points.
task achievement
Ensure use of an appropriate tone, which should be friendly and considerate, matching a letter to a friend.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • theoretical nature
  • real-world experience
  • practical experience
  • professional network
  • financial independence
  • dynamic
  • on-the-job learning
  • creative industries
  • customer service
  • sectors
  • suitable
What to do next:
Look at other essays: