In many countries today, everyday necessities like food and petrol have become very expensive. What factors may have caused this situation and what, in your opinion, can/should be done about it?
In
this
present world, the consumption of food
and petrol
has become very expensive to fulfil everyday necessities. In my opinion, the primary reasons for these problems are countries
failing to produce local products and lack of alternatives. This
essay will explain what might caused this
situation with relevant examples and what should be done to tackle this
problem.
Firstly
, many countries
who could not be independent to produce their own necessities might rely on their supply to other countries
. For example
, at the end
of 2022, the price
of Indonesian fertilizers surged when the Russia-Ukraine conflict occurred. This
is because Russia stopped exporting their fertilizers to other countries
and unfortunately, the majority of Indonesia
fertilizer was produced by Russia at that time, which led to the Change noun form
Indonesia's
price
volatile
dramatically. Replace the word
volatility
As a consequence
, up until now, the fertilizer price
in Indonesia
remains expensive because Indonesia
failed to balance their supply and demand.
Secondly
, lack of alternatives for certain food
and petrol
could be another reason why the price
become very expensive. For instance
, the type of fuel that most Indonesian
consume is gasoline, which is not renewable. The production of gasoline keeps on decreasing each day because of the increase in Replace the word
Indonesians
Indonesia
's population which could lead to energy
scarcity. To suppress its demand, the government
imposed a tax to secure the energy
source because they did not have any option to substitute gasoline.
In my opinion, government
legislators should create persuasive regulations to solve this
problem. As an illustration, the government
could give endowment by creating a competition for young entrepreneurs that
have a vision and mission to address the relevance of imported goods. Another suggestion, in terms of protecting Correct pronoun usage
who
energy
security, government
should amend the regulation of total
Correct article usage
the total
energy
mix, especially for renewable energy
, and subsidize their residents who use electric vehicles.
In conclusion, the problem why food
and petrol
price
is increasing day by day in many countries
, it
is because the Correct pronoun usage
apply
countries
might not be independent in producing their own products and failed to explore food
and petrol
substitutes. After a thorough analysis of this
subject, it is predicted that government
regulations play a pivotal role in arousing public awareness such
as creating business competition endowments and supporting renewable energy
vehicles by giving subsidization to their residents.Submitted by dewifarraprasasya on
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task achievement
Ensure that your introduction clearly presents the topic and your thesis statement. While you provided a general overview, it could be made clearer and more concise.
coherence cohesion
Clearly outline the specific factors and your proposed solutions in the introduction to provide a roadmap for your discussions.
task achievement
Ensure ideas are fully developed with more comprehensive explanations and depth of analysis in the body paragraphs. Avoid presenting ideas superficially.
coherence cohesion
Use a range of cohesive devices to ensure clarity and continuity between sentences and paragraphs, but avoid overusing them which can disrupt the flow of your essay.
task achievement
Support main points with specific, relevant examples. The examples you provided are appropriate, but require more detail to fully illustrate the issues discussed.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion should succinctly summarize the main points of your essay and restate your opinion. Work on making your conclusion more impactful and clearly reflective of the essay's content.
task achievement
Care should be taken with grammar and vocabulary choices to reduce errors that can sometimes hinder the clear understanding of your points.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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