IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training) Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

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There is no denying the fact that
the
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apply
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doctors and
the
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apply
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engineers are considered
the
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apply
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significant contributors to the
country
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.
While
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 it is a commonly held belief that both categories ought to
work
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 for their
country
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, there is
also
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 an argument that some
people
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 suggest that to give them the
free
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freedom
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 to choose.
This
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 essay will analyse
this
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 topic from both points of view and express my opinion. On
one
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the one
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 hand, many
people
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 tend to believe that companies should force the trainees to
work
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 for them after the end of training
condition
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conditions
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.
In other words
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, the reason behind
this
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,
the
Correct your spelling
that
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 companies
spent
Wrong verb form
spend
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 a lot of money to train
people
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 annually worldwide.
In addition
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, implementing
this
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 approach may reduce the expenses of the company and enhance the
country
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's economy.
For example
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, as they say, "Practice leads to advance",
people
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 after training, have the necessary skills to
work
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 for the
country
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.
On the other hand
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, forcing
people
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 to
work
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 could create problems,
while
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 giving them respect and
well-treat
Correct your spelling
well-being
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 may earn their loyalty and promote their desire to
work
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 in the
country
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. It is
also
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 possible to say that, giving
people
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 the freedom to choose where they wish to
work
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, will expand the opportunities for them.
Moreover
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, many trainees
have
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are
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 ambitious to
work
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 in other countries
for expanding
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to expand
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 their knowledge and learn other cultures.
For instance
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, the governments will get the benefits, as
their
Correct pronoun usage
they
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 will return and
work
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 in their countries with different
mindset
Fix the agreement mistake
mindsets
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 and creative thinking which make them solve the problems in the
country
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 and construct
an
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apply
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innovation
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innovative
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 technologies for their countries. In conclusion, there are no easy answers to
this
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 question. On balance, I tend to believe that, not
force
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forcing
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 the workers to
take
Correct your spelling
make
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 a decision
play
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plays
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 a crucial role
for
Change preposition
in
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 the
country
Use synonyms

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Task Response
Your essay partially addresses the requirements of the task, however, the response seems incomplete as it does not fully develop all parts of the prompt. Expand on each view and your own opinion with more detailed justification.
Coherence and Cohesion
The logical structure of your essay could be improved. Ensure clear paragraphing with each paragraph containing one clear main idea and several supporting sentences that develop that main point. Use a range of cohesive devices to link ideas across the essay more effectively.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • professionals
  • doctors
  • engineers
  • required
  • training
  • home country
  • cultural
  • linguistic
  • advantages
  • economic impact
  • free
  • another country
  • globalization
  • international collaboration
  • improving
  • skills
  • knowledge
  • experience
  • opinion
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