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Band 4.5

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training) Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

#people #professionals #doctors #engineers #work #country
There is no denying the fact that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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doctors and
the
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apply
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engineers are considered
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
significant contributors to the
country
.
While
 it is a commonly held belief that both categories ought to
work
 for their
country
, there is
also
 an argument that some
people
 suggest that to give them the
free
Replace the word
freedom
show examples
 to choose.
This
 essay will analyse
this
 topic from both points of view and express my opinion. On
one
Correct article usage
the one
show examples
 hand, many
people
 tend to believe that companies should force the trainees to
work
 for them after the end of training
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
show examples
.
In other words
, the reason behind
this
,
the
Correct your spelling
that
show examples
 companies
spent
Wrong verb form
spend
show examples
 a lot of money to train
people
 annually worldwide.
In addition
, implementing
this
 approach may reduce the expenses of the company and enhance the
country
's economy.
For example
, as they say, "Practice leads to advance",
people
 after training, have the necessary skills to
work
 for the
country
.
On the other hand
, forcing
people
 to
work
 could create problems,
while
 giving them respect and
well-treat
Correct your spelling
well-being
show examples
 may earn their loyalty and promote their desire to
work
 in the
country
. It is
also
 possible to say that, giving
people
 the freedom to choose where they wish to
work
, will expand the opportunities for them.
Moreover
, many trainees
have
Verb problem
are
show examples
 ambitious to
work
 in other countries
for expanding
Change preposition
to expand
show examples
 their knowledge and learn other cultures.
For instance
, the governments will get the benefits, as
their
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 will return and
work
 in their countries with different
mindset
Fix the agreement mistake
mindsets
show examples
 and creative thinking which make them solve the problems in the
country
 and construct
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
innovation
Replace the word
innovative
show examples
 technologies for their countries. In conclusion, there are no easy answers to
this
 question. On balance, I tend to believe that, not
force
Wrong verb form
forcing
show examples
 the workers to
take
Correct your spelling
make
show examples
 a decision
play
Correct subject-verb agreement
plays
show examples
 a crucial role
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
country
Submitted by abdullazizalajlan.m on

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Task Response
Your essay partially addresses the requirements of the task, however, the response seems incomplete as it does not fully develop all parts of the prompt. Expand on each view and your own opinion with more detailed justification.
Coherence and Cohesion
The logical structure of your essay could be improved. Ensure clear paragraphing with each paragraph containing one clear main idea and several supporting sentences that develop that main point. Use a range of cohesive devices to link ideas across the essay more effectively.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • professionals
  • doctors
  • engineers
  • required
  • training
  • home country
  • cultural
  • linguistic
  • advantages
  • economic impact
  • free
  • another country
  • globalization
  • international collaboration
  • improving
  • skills
  • knowledge
  • experience
  • opinion
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