IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Many young people regularly change their job over the years. What are the reasons for this? Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages

#people #change #job #years
In
this
 contemporary era, there is an ongoing trend to switch careers among young people.
While
 the
career
 shift might expand their chances to find their interesting areas, they will suffer from a considerable shortage of required skills and experiences. on
one
 hand,
career
 shifting could play an instrumental role in opening the horizon for young people to discover their special interests and their
opportunities
instead
 of adhering to
one
 field.
In other words
, there is a myriad of
job
opportunities
 that are available for young adults, and choosing
one
 fixed
career
 from a very young age may have a negative impact on their
opportunities
 to find their special interesting areas. Henceforth, early adulthood is the most suitable phase in a
person
's life to explore his abilities and the field he shows interest in
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
.
Consequently
, regular changing of professions will allow younger people to find their passions in certain areas and develop themselves later on,
accordingly
.
For instance
, in the Netherlands, the government has implemented regulations that allow young workers to have a trial period of up to two years to work in different professions to widen their
opportunities
 and find their own interesting fields after working in multiple jobs.
As a result
, Dutch workers have reported better chances to explore their passions.
On the other hand
,
one
 of the biggest cons which cannot be overlooked is the lack of adequate experiences that cannot be obtained if a labourer changes his
career
 regularly. To illustrate, possessing a long
experience
 in a certain field is a highly crucial factor in being able to find a
job
 in an international company .
This
 means that when a young labourer moves from
one
 profession to another, he might not be able to gain the required skills;
therefore
, a worker may face a lot of obstacles in finding a respectful
job
 in
one
 of the international enterprises to secure his life.
This
 can be exemplified by an interview with the owner of Al-Saqi group, which is
one
 of the most famous high-tech companies in Iraq, he claimed that his company always looks forward to favouring a
person
 with many years of
experience
 in his profession since
this
person
 will add a significant value to the company compared to others. What can be said here is that switching jobs is a negative phenomenon that might affect a
person
's chance to find a
respectful
Replace the word
respectable
show examples
job
due to
 the lack of
experience
 factor. In conclusion,
after
this
 essay has reiterated the above-mentioned points, it can be claimed that
although
 a regular
career
 shift could assist workers in finding their passions before choosing fixed jobs, the lack of
experience
 is a critical component that might influence their abilities to find work in transnational corporations.
Submitted by drfatima.abduallah on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

logical structure
Ensure your essay has a clear and logical order, starting with an introduction, followed by body paragraphs each discussing a single main point, and ending with a conclusion that summarizes your arguments.
introduction conclusion present
Use a variety of linking words and phrases to create smooth transitions between sentences and paragraphs, and structure your essay with a clear introduction and conclusion that restate the main topic and your position.
supported main points
Develop each main point with relevant explanations, details, and examples. Make sure that each paragraph clearly supports the overall argument of the essay.
complete response
Address all parts of the task by giving a clear answer to the question, presenting and explaining your ideas fully, and providing relevant examples. Make sure your conclusion reflects your thoughts on the advantages and disadvantages.
clear comprehensive ideas
Organize and express your ideas clearly and in detail. Work on expanding your explanations and providing more depth to your arguments. This will help demonstrate a complete understanding of the topic.
relevant specific examples
Use specific and relevant examples to support your ideas. These examples should clearly relate to the main points and strengthen your argument. You can include personal experiences, hypothetical scenarios, or references to studies and statistics.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: