IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The graph below shows the number of books read by men and women at Burnaby Public Library from 2011 to 2014.

The graph below shows the number of books read by men and women at Burnaby Public Library from 2011 to 2014.
#books #men #women #burnaby #library
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The line graph illustrates how many
books
Use synonyms
 were read by
men
Use synonyms
 and women at Burnaby Public Library between 2011 and 2014.
Overall
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
 women read more
books
Use synonyms
 than
men
Use synonyms
 in the beginning
period
Use synonyms
, they dropped significantly
at the end
Linking Words
 of the
period
Use synonyms
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, there were around five
thousand
Use synonyms
books
Use synonyms
 read by women in 2011. The
number
Use synonyms
 of
books
Use synonyms
 rose gradually in the next two years and peaked at ten
thousand
Use synonyms
books
Use synonyms
 in 2013, before falling by two
thousand
Use synonyms
. Meanwhile, in terms of
men
Use synonyms
, the
number
Use synonyms
 of
books
Use synonyms
 read by
men
Use synonyms
 was only three
thousand
Use synonyms
 in the beginning
period
Use synonyms
 given. The
number
Use synonyms
 grew steadily to four
thousand
Use synonyms
books
Use synonyms
 in 2012 before soaring in the next three years. The
number
Use synonyms
 of
books
Use synonyms
 among both sexes marked the same
number
Use synonyms
 in 2013 with ten
thousand
Use synonyms
.
At the end
Linking Words
 of the
period
Use synonyms
 given, the
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
 surpassed the
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 in relation to the
number
Use synonyms
 of
books
Use synonyms
 that they read at Burnaby Public Library.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "at the end".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words books, men, period, thousand, number with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • library
  • gender
  • reading habits
  • compare
  • significantly
  • trends
  • increase/decrease
  • consistent
  • fluctuate
  • period
  • summarise
  • graph
  • public library
  • books read
  • Burnaby Public Library
  • 2011 to 2014
  • male
  • female
What to do next:
Look at other essays: