Today’s schools should teach their students how to survive financially in the world today. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Teaching
students
about financial literacy is crucial for their future success and well-being. In today's world where financial decisions are being
increasingly complex, it is essential to equip Unnecessary verb
apply
students
with the knowledge and skills they need to navigate the intricacies of personal finance. I strongly believe that schools will help gain
three substantial skills including budgeting and monetary management, investment management and tax and insurance Correct pronoun usage
me gain
issue
. In the forthcoming sections, I shall elaborate on my views.
First and foremost, the most remarkable skill Fix the agreement mistake
issues
students
are required to learn is budgeting and monetary management. This
is safe to say truly appreciation of fortune handling gets them one step ahead in life. Even, there is a funny saying that the more money you have, the more beautiful life welcomes you, and the brighter things look to your eyes. A further
well-known proficiency is investment control. If many people were tactful and thoughtful and knew how to take the reign of their lives, they would be leading their lives meaningfully and logically. Take businessmen as investors in building high rises and skyscrapers. At first sight, we might think that they get their capital from the wrong way; whereas
the point is they know how to navigate their wealth meaning how much they need to save up and put the rest of their money in business. They never put all their eggs in one basket. And the final impact schools have on students
is teaching them how to pay tax
and insurance. As we all know in today's advanced and technology-driven world, society revolves Fix the agreement mistake
taxes
on
tax and insurance. By Change preposition
around
this
, I mean to have a better and safer future each and every
of us who gets involved in business needs to do so. Change the determiner
every one
This
results in a guaranteed and bright future.
In conclusion, to have a better, brighter and safer life not only schools by
setting up strategies and stick to them, but Change preposition
apply
also
we, the people should walk the paths to achieve our goals.Submitted by snmohseni on
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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
Develop your introduction and conclusion further by restating the prompt in your own words in the introduction, and summarizing your key points in the conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with specific and relevant examples to strengthen your arguments. These examples can be drawn from real-life experiences, studies, or hypothetical scenarios that clearly relate to your points.
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Use clear and comprehensive ideas throughout your essay to directly address the prompt. Ensure that each paragraph contains a single main idea that is well explained and relates back to the essay question.
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Provide more relevant and specific examples to support your arguments. The examples should directly illustrate the point you're making and show a clear link to the topic you're discussing.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite