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Writing Samples
Band 8

The line graph gives data about people who asks to gain information at the tourist offices from January to June in UK.

The line graph gives data about people who asks to gain information at the tourist offices from January to June in UK.
The chart illustrates how people obtain information at the tourist offices from January to
June
Use synonyms
 in the United Kingdom.
Overall
Linking Words
, more and more people ask the messages which they want to know by themselves during the period,
while
Linking Words
 the information about the tour is inquired by letter or email is a gradually decreasing trend.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, in the first month of the year, only 400 visitors
gain
Wrong verb form
gained
show examples
 the data in person, followed by a dramatic increase to 1200 in April, which
beyond
Add a missing verb
was beyond
show examples
 other methods to get the data and touched 1900 in
June
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, 900 tourists ask the messages by telephone at the beginning which is the highest quantity,
whereas
Linking Words
 the number of visitors is similar in March and April.
Finally
Linking Words
, it rises to 1600 in
June
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, the information gained by letter or email is around 800 individuals in January, but it drops to 600 people three months later and remains at 400 individuals in May and
June
Use synonyms
.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words june with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 3 times.
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