In many countries today, the eating habits and lifestyle of children are different from those of previous generations. Some people say this has had a negative effect on their health. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
It is an undeniable fact that 
food
 habits and lifestyle have changed from the previous generations. I agree with Use synonyms
this
 statement completely since people eating fast Linking Words
food
 and using mobile and computers.
  First of all, eating habits will affect the Use synonyms
children
's health. It is important to note that current Use synonyms
children
 commonly find the easiest and the fastest way to find Use synonyms
food
. Many ways to acquire Use synonyms
food
 but one better and faster way is fast Use synonyms
food
 or junk Use synonyms
food
, which is provided in every corner of a city Use synonyms
such
 as hamburgers, pizza, and so on. It is important to become aware that Linking Words
this
 kind of Linking Words
food
 does not contain nutrition. Fast Use synonyms
food
 uses oil and other ingredients which are harmful to our bodies. These edibles have high fat and calorie content which causes obesity and high blood pressure.
   Use synonyms
Moreover
, Linking Words
children
's lifestyle Use synonyms
also
 leads to a lack of socializing with other people. More and more Linking Words
children
 nowadays spend time playing computer games in their bedrooms. Use synonyms
In contrast
, Linking Words
this
 habit has many disadvantages, Linking Words
for example
, becoming addicted which lead to the lack of contact with their friend, and Linking Words
also
 getting sick because they never exercise. 
   In conclusion, most today Linking Words
children
's habits are eating and playing computer games which affect their health, Use synonyms
for example
, obesity. The parents are responsible for helping their Linking Words
children
 to prevent them from any kind of illness.Use synonyms
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Task Achievement
Your essay largely maintains a clear position throughout the response, though development of ideas isn't always sufficient. You need to more fully extend and support your arguments to achieve a higher score.
Coherence & Cohesion
Overall, the essay exhibits some organizatiional features but tends to repeat ideas and lacks a clear progression in some parts. Attempt to use a range of cohesive devices and paragraph more effectively to strengthen coherence.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
 - secondly
 - thirdly
 - in additional
 - moreover
 - also
 - for example
 - for instance
 - therefore
 - however
 - although
 - even though
 - despite