Nowadays a large amount of advertising aimed at children should be banned be¬cause of the negative effects. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

These days,

Correct article usage

show examples

Correct article usage

show examples

number of advertisements are focused on children for their own benefits like the growth of the company. Some folks believe it should be banned

while

Linking Words

others believe it has several positives

such

Linking Words

as awareness of new products.

However

Linking Words

, I strongly agree with the given statement

due to

Linking Words

several possible reasons

such

Linking Words

as the financial burden on parents, and poor dietary choices and the following paragraphs will elaborate on both stances with lucid examples. To commence with, the first and foremost reason to disagree is that, ads for unhealthy food can cause a number of health illnesses namely diabetes, and obesity in offspring because of an easy target. 80% of teenagers,

for example

Linking Words

, are suffering from obesity after consuming these canned bread regularly.

Moreover

Linking Words

, they feel lazy

while

Linking Words

doing their regular activities

due to

Linking Words

excessive intake of junk food

as well as

Linking Words

sugary beverages.

Secondly

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

is not only an issue for offspring but

also

Linking Words

for their parents as they are demanding extra pocket money to spend on these items. After seeing the new game, to illustrate, they are forcing their guardians to buy for them which can cause a financial burden on their parents.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, after watching ads

Change preposition

for

show examples

illegal products, they feel the urge to try them which become one of the main reasons for teenagers' death like an overdose of cannabis.

To conclude

Linking Words

, there is no doubt that having advertisements has some merits

such

Linking Words

as awareness.

Nevertheless

Linking Words

, it has more cons

such

Linking Words

as poor intake of food in youngsters and parent's stress

due to

Linking Words

high expenses.

Although

Linking Words

, the government can still continue with the ads that could be helpful for children namely advertisements on books.

buttargurpinder73Tue Dec 12 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

The essay presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the position could have been developed further with more depth and nuance. It is important to fully explore all parts of the task to ensure a higher Task Achievement score.

coherence cohesion

While the essay maintains a logical structure, transitions between ideas could be smoother, and paragraphing could be used more effectively to separate different points. Consider using a wider range of cohesive devices to link ideas and paragraphs more naturally.

14
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

279 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

vulnerability
impressionability
developmental stage
critical thinking
marketing tactics
dietary choices
childhood obesity
materialism
consumerism
parental control
consumption
advertising literacy
interpret
outright ban
economic repercussions
media outlets
ad revenue

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

8
band
There are people who thinks if a person is rich he is successful in his life . Do you agree or disagree
There is no doubt about the fact that wealth plays an important role in our daily lives. Likely, many people measured success on how much amount of money an individual possessed. In my opinion, I completely disagree with this statement. In this essay, I will attempt to elaborate on my thoughts regarding this matter.
7.5
band
More and more people are becoming seriously overweight. Some people say that the price increase of fattening foods will solve this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
The alarming rise in obesity rates, where people are becoming seriously overweight, has fueled debates on effective solutions. A popular proposal calls for raising the prices of high-calorie foods to reduce consumption. While this fiscal strategy has some merit, I argue that it is overly simplistic, neglects the impact on economically disadvantaged groups, and fails to address the multifaceted nature of the obesity epidemic.
7.5
band
Some people think that newspapers are the best way to get news. However, others believe that they can get news better through other media platforms. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Opinions are divided on whether getting information from newspapers or media platforms is a better choice. Although traditional newspapers can bring certain advantages, I believe that modern platforms are better information sources for many reasons.
6.5
band
Countries around the world will be facing significant challenges relating not only to the environment, but population and education as well. What problems will your country face in the next ten years? How can these problems be overcome? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
It is undoubtedly true that the rise of different kinds of problems is increasing at an alarming rate such as environmental obstacles, high innate rate difficulties as well as educational hurdles. In this essay, I will discuss what difficulties we can see in the next ten years and how to cope with them along with that I will try to give the best examples from my best experience in the upcoming paragraphs.
7
band
The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
In today’s fast-paced world, scientific advancement has become a key factor to ensure a secure and fulfilling life, this is why some people argue that the people’s lives improvement should be the most important goal of science. Personally, I agree and believe that if other aims such as discovering the unknown windows of the universe or producing war-related equipment are valued over the former aim, mankind will witness the detrimental consequences of these approaches.

Nowadays a large amount of advertising aimed at children should be banned be¬cause of the negative effects. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There are people who thinks if a person is rich he is successful in his life . Do you agree or disagree

More and more people are becoming seriously overweight. Some people say that the price increase of fattening foods will solve this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that newspapers are the best way to get news. However, others believe that they can get news better through other media platforms. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.