Some people think that family is the most powerful influence of a child's development while others thing other factors such as friends, television and music have better influence. Discuss both of views and give your opinion?

#people #influence #child #development #factors #friends #television #music

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Regarding the most significant influence on

offspring’

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offspring

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development, some hold that family shares the largest proportion,

whereas

others believe other things like

, friendship or music will take the role better.

This

essay intends to analyse both

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apply

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views and explain why I am in favour of the former idea. On the one hand, proponents of the first view consider that

children

’s development is mainly affected by their families.

Firstly

, parents are initial teachers in their upbringings, especially mothers who communicate with

children

in the first place.

Secondly

, fathers and mothers are examples of forming

children

’s behaviours.

In other words

, babies observe their parents’ lifestyles and tend to imitate them with the same patterns during their growing stages.

Thirdly

, adolescents coming from different family cultures will have different mindsets and perceptions.

For instance

, open-minded families perceive that prioritizing their kids’ interests is more important than pragmatic considerations, encouraging

children

to be free when choosing jobs .

In contrast

, narrow-minded ones tend to force their offspring to meet their expectations limiting

children

from exploring their

potentials

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potential

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On the other hand

, supporters of the latter view claim outside factors

such

as television or friends play an essential role in inspiring minors during their development stage. They think adolescents now are more likely to interact with

and their companions than parents. It means that kids spend more time on activities with their peers

whom

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with whom

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they can share stories and find it easy to get sympathy which might not be found among family members.

Similary

Correct your spelling

Similarly

contains interesting content making

children

who are susceptible to addicting stuff resulting in the fact that they are influenced by characters and celebrities they watch on a regular basis. In conclusion,

although

a child can either learn from his close family or take a cue from his peers or whatever he sees on

, I strongly believe that no

factors

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factor

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can be more important than

home

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a home

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which inspires kids the most.

Submitted by nguyenmysam722001 on Tue Dec 12 2023

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introduction conclusion present

Ensure that the introduction provides a clear overview of the essay's direction, end with a clear opinion, and the conclusion must effectively summarise the main points and restate the writer's opinion. The absence of clear introduction and conclusion elements affects comprehension, resulting in a lower score.

logical structure

Maintain logical structure but aim for more varied and complex connectivity to enhance seamless transition between points. While your arguments have merit, improved signposting and cohesive devices will aid in the flow.

supported main points

Aim to support main points with a broader range of examples and evidences. This essay would benefit from a deeper exploration of relevant specific examples which help to substantiate arguments and enhance the task response score.

clear comprehensive ideas

Ensure a full and well-rounded response to the task. Cover all parts of the prompt thoroughly and offer a balanced discussion followed by a clear opinion for a strong task achievement score. Develop your ideas further for more clarity and depth.

relevant specific examples

Bolster your arguments with more relevant, specific examples. Examples serve to illustrate your points and provide tangible evidence for your claims, thus enhancing the quality of your essay.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

323 words

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Some people think that family is the most powerful influence of a child's development while others thing other factors such as friends, television and music have better influence. Discuss both of views and give your opinion?

In many countries, the number of animals and plants is declining. Why do you think this is happening? How can this issue can be solved?

In many countries today, if people want to find work, they have to move away from their families and friends. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Art classes, such as painting and drawing, are as important to a child's development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

Some peoole think that cities are the best place to live. Others prefer to live in countryside. Discuss both view and give your opinion.