Some people think that family is the most powerful influence of a child's development while others thing other factors such as friends, television and music have better influence. Discuss both of views and give your opinion?

#people #influence #child #development #factors #friends #television #music

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Regarding the most significant influence on

offspring’

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offspring

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development, some hold that family shares the largest proportion,

whereas

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others believe other things like

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, friendship or music will take the role better.

This

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essay intends to analyse both

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apply

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views and explain why I am in favour of the former idea. On the one hand, proponents of the first view consider that

children

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’s development is mainly affected by their families.

Firstly

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, parents are initial teachers in their upbringings, especially mothers who communicate with

children

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in the first place.

Secondly

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, fathers and mothers are examples of forming

children

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’s behaviours.

In other words

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, babies observe their parents’ lifestyles and tend to imitate them with the same patterns during their growing stages.

Thirdly

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, adolescents coming from different family cultures will have different mindsets and perceptions.

For instance

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, open-minded families perceive that prioritizing their kids’ interests is more important than pragmatic considerations, encouraging

children

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to be free when choosing jobs .

In contrast

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, narrow-minded ones tend to force their offspring to meet their expectations limiting

children

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from exploring their

potentials

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potential

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On the other hand

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, supporters of the latter view claim outside factors

such

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as television or friends play an essential role in inspiring minors during their development stage. They think adolescents now are more likely to interact with

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and their companions than parents. It means that kids spend more time on activities with their peers

whom

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with whom

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they can share stories and find it easy to get sympathy which might not be found among family members.

Similary

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Similarly

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contains interesting content making

children

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who are susceptible to addicting stuff resulting in the fact that they are influenced by characters and celebrities they watch on a regular basis. In conclusion,

although

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a child can either learn from his close family or take a cue from his peers or whatever he sees on

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, I strongly believe that no

factors

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factor

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can be more important than

home

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a home

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which inspires kids the most.

Submitted by nguyenmysam722001 on Tue Dec 12 2023

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introduction conclusion present

Ensure that the introduction provides a clear overview of the essay's direction, end with a clear opinion, and the conclusion must effectively summarise the main points and restate the writer's opinion. The absence of clear introduction and conclusion elements affects comprehension, resulting in a lower score.

logical structure

Maintain logical structure but aim for more varied and complex connectivity to enhance seamless transition between points. While your arguments have merit, improved signposting and cohesive devices will aid in the flow.

supported main points

Aim to support main points with a broader range of examples and evidences. This essay would benefit from a deeper exploration of relevant specific examples which help to substantiate arguments and enhance the task response score.

clear comprehensive ideas

Ensure a full and well-rounded response to the task. Cover all parts of the prompt thoroughly and offer a balanced discussion followed by a clear opinion for a strong task achievement score. Develop your ideas further for more clarity and depth.

relevant specific examples

Bolster your arguments with more relevant, specific examples. Examples serve to illustrate your points and provide tangible evidence for your claims, thus enhancing the quality of your essay.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

323 words

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Some people think that family is the most powerful influence of a child's development while others thing other factors such as friends, television and music have better influence. Discuss both of views and give your opinion?

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Some people say that, art and drama are as important as other school subjects especially at the primary level. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others, however, believe there are better alternative ways of reducing crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.