IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

You are not satisfied with the service and have already let them know about it. Write a letter to a sports club. - what exactly is wrong with their service - what happened after you complained the first time - what you want the club to do after your letter

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Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 letter to express my concern regarding the issue I have been facing with the
lockers
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 at Gold Sports Centre. Let me elaborate
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

this
Change preposition
on this

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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 matter in detail. Every member who joins the program gets free access to the
lockers
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 to keep their belongings during the time they spend at the
center
Change the spelling
centre

The spelling of center is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

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.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, even though the main purpose of
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 service is to ensure the safety of things, the poor condition of the
lockers
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 has certainly failed to meet the intended cause.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 issue was recently raised to the concerned team at the club a couple of weeks ago.
While
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 I was expecting a permanent solution to it, it appears that the club chose a temporary measure using some method of repair that hardly lasted a few days, leaving the members
with
Change preposition
in

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
 the same jeopardy. Considering how it is affecting the frequent visitors, I would request replacing the old
lockers
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 with new ones as it will bring a sense of security.
Moreover
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, if
that is
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 not possible, I would suggest appointing
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 job of fixing them to a skilled person. I look forward to receiving prompt and positive action. Yours faithfully, Pawandeep Kaur

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Coherence & Cohesion
To improve your logical structure, try to create clearer connections between your opening statement and the body paragraphs. Consider introducing the problem in the opening paragraph and providing a summary of the situation before going into detail.
Coherence & Cohesion
When signing off, it's more appropriate to match the level of formality throughout the letter. If you addressed the recipient as 'Sir or Madam,' you should close with 'Yours sincerely' if you know their name, or 'Yours faithfully' if you do not, which you did correctly. However, make sure that the rest of the letter maintains this level of formality.
Coherence & Cohesion
Each paragraph should explore a single main idea or point related to the topic. It appears that you did manage to maintain one idea per paragraph, which is good. Keep working on this aspect for clearer communication.
Task Achievement
Make sure to fully address all parts of the prompt. Include specific examples and make relevant suggestions where appropriate. This will help in solidifying a complete response to the task.
Task Achievement
The tone of your writing should reflect the formal nature of the letter, avoid using colloquial language and maintain professional language throughout.
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