You are not satisfied with the service and have already let them know about it. Write a letter to a sports club. - what exactly is wrong with their service - what happened after you complained the first time - what you want the club to do after your letter

#service #sports #club #first #time

Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing

this

letter to express my concern regarding the issue I have been facing with the

lockers

at Gold Sports Centre. Let me elaborate

this

Change preposition

on this

show examples

matter in detail. Every member who joins the program gets free access to the

lockers

to keep their belongings during the time they spend at the

center

Change the spelling

centre

show examples

However

, even though the main purpose of

this

service is to ensure the safety of things, the poor condition of the

lockers

has certainly failed to meet the intended cause.

This

issue was recently raised to the concerned team at the club a couple of weeks ago.

While

I was expecting a permanent solution to it, it appears that the club chose a temporary measure using some method of repair that hardly lasted a few days, leaving the members

with

Change preposition

show examples

the same jeopardy. Considering how it is affecting the frequent visitors, I would request replacing the old

lockers

with new ones as it will bring a sense of security.

Moreover

, if

that is

not possible, I would suggest appointing

this

job of fixing them to a skilled person. I look forward to receiving prompt and positive action. Yours faithfully, Pawandeep Kaur

Submitted by unnikrishnanpp153 on Tue Dec 12 2023

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Coherence & Cohesion

To improve your logical structure, try to create clearer connections between your opening statement and the body paragraphs. Consider introducing the problem in the opening paragraph and providing a summary of the situation before going into detail.

Coherence & Cohesion

When signing off, it's more appropriate to match the level of formality throughout the letter. If you addressed the recipient as 'Sir or Madam,' you should close with 'Yours sincerely' if you know their name, or 'Yours faithfully' if you do not, which you did correctly. However, make sure that the rest of the letter maintains this level of formality.

Coherence & Cohesion

Each paragraph should explore a single main idea or point related to the topic. It appears that you did manage to maintain one idea per paragraph, which is good. Keep working on this aspect for clearer communication.

Task Achievement

Make sure to fully address all parts of the prompt. Include specific examples and make relevant suggestions where appropriate. This will help in solidifying a complete response to the task.

Task Achievement

The tone of your writing should reflect the formal nature of the letter, avoid using colloquial language and maintain professional language throughout.

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

8 paragraphs

199 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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You are not satisfied with the service and have already let them know about it. Write a letter to a sports club. - what exactly is wrong with their service - what happened after you complained the first time - what you want the club to do after your letter

Some people say that the only way to get success is to go to universities while others think that it depends on other factors. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Wild animals have no place in the 21st century, so protecting them is a waste of resources. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The large amount of time and money that is spent on conserving wildlife would be better spent on improving the lives of humans. To what extent do you agree or disagree