You are not satisfied with the service and have already let them know about it. Write a letter to a sports club. - what exactly is wrong with their service - what happened after you complained the first time - what you want the club to do after your letter
Dear Sir or Madam,
I am writing
this
letter to express my concern regarding the issue I have been facing with the lockers
at Gold Sports Centre.
Let me elaborate this
matter in detail. Every member who joins the program gets free access to the Change preposition
on this
lockers
to keep their belongings during the time they spend at the center
. Change the spelling
centre
However
, even though the main purpose of this
service is to ensure the safety of things, the poor condition of the lockers
has certainly failed to meet the intended cause.
This
issue was recently raised to the concerned team at the club a couple of weeks ago. While
I was expecting a permanent solution to it, it appears that the club chose a temporary measure using some method of repair that hardly lasted a few days, leaving the members with
the same jeopardy.
Considering how it is affecting the frequent visitors, I would request replacing the old Change preposition
in
lockers
with new ones as it will bring a sense of security. Moreover
, if that is
not possible, I would suggest appointing this
job of fixing them to a skilled person.
I look forward to receiving prompt and positive action.
Yours faithfully,
Pawandeep KaurSubmitted by unnikrishnanpp153 on
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Coherence & Cohesion
To improve your logical structure, try to create clearer connections between your opening statement and the body paragraphs. Consider introducing the problem in the opening paragraph and providing a summary of the situation before going into detail.
Coherence & Cohesion
When signing off, it's more appropriate to match the level of formality throughout the letter. If you addressed the recipient as 'Sir or Madam,' you should close with 'Yours sincerely' if you know their name, or 'Yours faithfully' if you do not, which you did correctly. However, make sure that the rest of the letter maintains this level of formality.
Coherence & Cohesion
Each paragraph should explore a single main idea or point related to the topic. It appears that you did manage to maintain one idea per paragraph, which is good. Keep working on this aspect for clearer communication.
Task Achievement
Make sure to fully address all parts of the prompt. Include specific examples and make relevant suggestions where appropriate. This will help in solidifying a complete response to the task.
Task Achievement
The tone of your writing should reflect the formal nature of the letter, avoid using colloquial language and maintain professional language throughout.
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