Rich countries often gives financial aid to developing countries although this not a solution to poverty therefore developed countries should give other types of financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some argue that wealthy
nations
usually provide financial resources to
third world
Add a hyphen
third-world
show examples
countries
but
this
is not ending
poverty
and
as a result
more developed
states
must consider offering different aspects of
asisstance
Correct your spelling
assistance
to developing
nations
instead
of aid in financial terms. I completely agree with
this
notion as European
countries
can offer
skills
development and readily available
markets
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
the goods produced by
African
countries
so as to provide lasting
solution
Fix the agreement mistake
solutions
show examples
to the
poverty
levels of these
nations
.
To begin
with, developed
nations
can provide
skills
development to
African
states
as a panacea to
poverty
.
This
can be attained by offering
capacity building
Add a hyphen
capacity-building
show examples
workshops to workers in Africa. Skilled
personals
Replace the word
personnel
show examples
from successful
countries
can impart knowledge and sharpen
skills
Correct article usage
the skills
show examples
of the economically active group in developing
nations
. These workshops can be complex and cover a number of fields.
As a result
,
this
can help in creating
competent
Add an article
a competent
show examples
workforce which can boost production in companies.
For example
, the United
Nations
and other
Non Governmental
Add a hyphen
Non-Governmental
show examples
Organisations often give these
trainings
Change the wording
training
pieces of training
show examples
to
nations
such
as Zimbabwe among others. Successful European
countries
can
also
provide readily available
markets
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
the goods and services produced by
third world
Add a hyphen
third-world
show examples
countries
. It is important to note that
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
availing lucrative
markets
with attractive rates,
this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
will motivate the
African
people to work hard
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and produce more.
For instance
,
wealth
Replace the word
wealthy
show examples
states
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
can even promote
tourism
Correct article usage
the tourism
show examples
business of struggling
states
by visiting various tourist resort places, thereby giving foreign currency to these
nations
. Developed
countries
can
also
buy
for example
ivory, and other minerals
such
Change preposition
as gold
show examples
gold
Change preposition
as gold
show examples
and diamond.
Thus
,
this
will go a long way in creating
sustainable
Correct article usage
a sustainable
show examples
revenue base
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
these
countries
thereby ending
poverty
gradually. In conclusion, the essay holds the view that availing
skills
and open
markets
to
third world
Add a hyphen
third-world
show examples
countries
is a viable answer to the issue of
poverty
that has been affecting
African
Correct your spelling
Africa
show examples
for
long
Change the article
a long
show examples
time.
Submitted by tafadzwakguruza on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea that is developed. At times, the essay presented multiple ideas within a single paragraph, which can detract from the overall clarity.
coherence cohesion
Use a range of linking devices and consider paragraphing carefully. Although the essay uses some linking words effectively, greater variety could improve the overall flow and cohesion of the text.
task achievement
Endeavor to state your position throughout the essay and avoid too much generalization. Ensure that your conclusion reflects the arguments made throughout the essay, providing a clear and consistent stance on the issue.
task achievement
Provide more precise, detailed examples that directly support the main ideas. While the examples given are relevant, they could be expanded upon and tied more closely to the argument to strengthen the essay's convincing power.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!