IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Rich countries often gives financial aid to developing countries although this not a solution to poverty therefore developed countries should give other types of financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#countries #aid #poverty
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Some argue that wealthy
nations
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 usually provide financial resources to
third world
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third-world
show examples
countries
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 but
this
Linking Words
 is not ending
poverty
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 and
as a result
Linking Words
 more developed
states
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 must consider offering different aspects of
asisstance
Correct your spelling
assistance
 to developing
nations
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instead
Linking Words
 of aid in financial terms. I completely agree with
this
Linking Words
 notion as European
countries
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 can offer
skills
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 development and readily available
markets
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to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the goods produced by
African
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countries
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 so as to provide lasting
solution
Fix the agreement mistake
solutions
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 to the
poverty
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 levels of these
nations
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.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, developed
nations
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 can provide
skills
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 development to
African
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states
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 as a panacea to
poverty
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.
This
Linking Words
 can be attained by offering
capacity building
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capacity-building
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 workshops to workers in Africa. Skilled
personals
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personnel
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 from successful
countries
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 can impart knowledge and sharpen
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skills
Correct article usage
the skills
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 of the economically active group in developing
nations
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. These workshops can be complex and cover a number of fields.
As a result
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 can help in creating
competent
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a competent
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 workforce which can boost production in companies.
For example
Linking Words
, the United
Nations
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 and other
Non Governmental
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Non-Governmental
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Organisations often give these
trainings
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training
pieces of training
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 to
nations
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such
Linking Words
 as Zimbabwe among others. Successful European
countries
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 can
also
Linking Words
 provide readily available
markets
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to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the goods and services produced by
third world
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third-world
show examples
countries
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. It is important to note that
by
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apply
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availing lucrative
markets
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 with attractive rates,
Linking Words
this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
will motivate the
African
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 people to work hard
,
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apply
show examples
 and produce more.
For instance
Linking Words
,
wealth
Replace the word
wealthy
show examples
states
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,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 can even promote
tourism
Correct article usage
the tourism
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 business of struggling
states
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 by visiting various tourist resort places, thereby giving foreign currency to these
nations
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. Developed
countries
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 can
also
Linking Words
 buy
for example
Linking Words
 ivory, and other minerals
such
Linking Words
Change preposition
as gold
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gold
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as gold
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 and diamond.
Thus
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 will go a long way in creating
sustainable
Correct article usage
a sustainable
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 revenue base
of
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for
show examples
 these
countries
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 thereby ending
poverty
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 gradually. In conclusion, the essay holds the view that availing
skills
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 and open
markets
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 to
third world
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third-world
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countries
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 is a viable answer to the issue of
poverty
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 that has been affecting
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African
Correct your spelling
Africa
show examples
 for
long
Change the article
a long
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 time.
Submitted by tafadzwakguruza on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea that is developed. At times, the essay presented multiple ideas within a single paragraph, which can detract from the overall clarity.
coherence cohesion
Use a range of linking devices and consider paragraphing carefully. Although the essay uses some linking words effectively, greater variety could improve the overall flow and cohesion of the text.
task achievement
Endeavor to state your position throughout the essay and avoid too much generalization. Ensure that your conclusion reflects the arguments made throughout the essay, providing a clear and consistent stance on the issue.
task achievement
Provide more precise, detailed examples that directly support the main ideas. While the examples given are relevant, they could be expanded upon and tied more closely to the argument to strengthen the essay's convincing power.
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