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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

IN MANY PARTS OF THE WORLD, ILLITERACY RATES ARE STILL HIGH. WHAT DO YOU THINK ARE THE CAUSES OF THIS? WHAT SOLUTIONS CAN YOU SUGGEST?

#parts #world #illiteracy #rates
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Illiteracy is an important and literally
a
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vital problem, especially in the
countries
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 of the third world. In many cases, it is the cause of their poverty and vice versa. The wealthy
countries
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 have
a
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good access at least to
the
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basic
education
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 which reflects the proportion of people who are able to work and share the social values of the state. Unfortunately, the situation is relatively difficult in some
countries
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 all over the world. The reasons are various,
such
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 as wars, climate issues, overcrowded
nations
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 , politics or religion. Poor
education
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system
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systems
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 do not provide sufficient knowledge
of
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for
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 people who
subsequently
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 suffer from hunger, and
usually
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usually,
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 the only way to get some food is
agriculture
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through agriculture
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, and breeding of the livestock. Not surprisingly, these
nations
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 have mostly very complicated political
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system
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systems
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,
as well as
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 a low level of health care and industrialism. In many of these
countries
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, women are excluded from the scholarship
system
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, which attenuates the pool of productive persons. The solution is very tricky. The help is expected from
western
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Western
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countries
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; it is necessary to keep these
nations
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 supported by their own
education
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. The most important thing is to teach them how to teach others.
To sum up
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, the cause of poverty
of
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in
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 many
nations
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 is the low level of
education
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 of their citizens and their illiteracy. The most important and valuable help is to improve their educational
system
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.
However
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, in many cases, it is not a financial issue
,
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 and humanitarian help could be sufficient to make the situation better.
Submitted by jana.smalcova on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that the introduction clearly outlines the points that will be discussed in the essay. Avoid ambiguity and strive to establish a clear thesis statement.
coherence cohesion
Develop a logical progression of ideas throughout the essay. Use transitional phrases and topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to guide the reader through your points.
coherence cohesion
Support all main points with specific examples or evidence. Vague statements weaken the overall impact of the essay.
task achievement
Fully address all parts of the task. Both the causes and the solutions to illiteracy should be explored in equal measure and with in-depth analysis.
task achievement
Provide clear and comprehensive ideas, avoiding superficial or generalized statements. Each paragraph should have a central idea that is explored in depth.
task achievement
Incorporate relevant, specific examples to substantiate claims. These examples can be drawn from real-world situations, statistics, or studies to provide a stronger argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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