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Writing Samples
Band 4

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevan

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevan
#shops #country #summarise #information #features #comparisons #relevan
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The graph portrays the statistics of
shops
Use synonyms
 that closed and
shops
Use synonyms
 that opened in a certain country from 2011 to 2018.
Overall
Linking Words
, from the
graph
Add a comma
graph,
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it is clear that
Linking Words
 there was a significant fall in the number of
shops
Use synonyms
 that opened from 2011 to 2018. It is
also
Linking Words
 imperative to mention that
Correct article usage
the shop
show examples
shop
Fix the agreement mistake
shops
show examples
 which closed over the given period witnessed a gradual decrease. To commence with, it is visible that there was a
drammatic
Correct your spelling
dramatic
 fall in the number of shop openings from 2011 to 2018 which witnessed
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
figures of roughly 8 600 to around 3 000 respectively.
However
Linking Words
, it is
also
Linking Words
 important to note the variations which
occured
Correct your spelling
occurred
occur
 between 2012 and 2015.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the
shops
Use synonyms
 which closed from 2011 to 2018
also
Linking Words
 registered a slight decrease from an estimate of 6 200 to about 5 800 respectively.
Submitted by tafadzwakguruza on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words shops with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fall" was used 2 times.
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