Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In the present scenario, almost every institution started various organizations and
service
Use synonyms
camps for
students
Use synonyms
to improve their performance and to help their neighbouring towns or villages. Some people say that every high
school
Use synonyms
should conduct free community
service
Use synonyms
programmes. I completely agree with the notion.
In addition
Linking Words
, I will elucidate in the upcoming paragraph, why I agree with the given statement.
Firstly
Linking Words
, running a charity or working in that, will help participants to gain knowledge in miscellaneous fields.
Moreover
Linking Words
, they acquire good communication and leadership skills.
For instance
Linking Words
, in my
school
Use synonyms
days, I was an enlistment, in
Polio
Correct article usage
a Polio
show examples
charity. In
this
Linking Words
charity, we collected funds from all over the schools and donated to patients who
were suffer
Change the verb form
were suffering
show examples
from polio. Because of
this
Linking Words
participation, I got a chance to speak to different kinds of fellows.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
service
Use synonyms
-based events are most significant in
school
Use synonyms
, because it is useful to both
school
Use synonyms
students
Use synonyms
and the public people.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
students
Use synonyms
get disciplinary action
by
Change preposition
for
show examples
providing
service
Use synonyms
to their juniors or neighbours.
For example
Linking Words
, I was a part of the National
Service
Use synonyms
Scheme camp in my
school
Use synonyms
, I cleaned my village and got some respect from the local crowd.
However
Linking Words
,
on the contrary
Linking Words
, we can't force all the
students
Use synonyms
to enrol in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
community services. Some are more interested in other fields, so they wish to improve in their own way. For illustrates, if a student is willing to be an athlete,
then
Linking Words
he will focus on that and spend more time on that. In conclusion, there are a lot of merits in organizing
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
unpaid community
service
Use synonyms
for
students
Use synonyms
. In my opinion, every
school
Use synonyms
need a compulsory
service
Use synonyms
centre.
Further
Linking Words
, everyone should join, and contribute their work to society.
Submitted by insighttribez on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Your essay slightly suffers from a lack of clear logical progression of ideas. To improve your score, make sure to present your ideas in a more organized manner, where each paragraph has a clear topic sentence followed by support and a concluding sentence that ties the idea back to the main argument.
coherence cohesion
You have presented an introduction and conclusion, but both are underdeveloped and lack a clear statement of your position on the issue. Work on crafting a more definitive thesis statement in the introduction and a cohesive summary of your arguments in the conclusion to clarify your stance on the topic.
coherence cohesion
While you have made an effort to support your main points, some of your supporting details are not fully developed. Include more specific examples and detailed explanations to strengthen your argument and enhance the reader's understanding of your position.
task achievement
Your essay manages to address the prompt, but it is essential to fully respond to the question by discussing both sides of the argument, even if you have a strong opinion. Make sure to balance your essay by acknowledging the opposing viewpoint and refuting it with strong reasoning.
task achievement
You have presented some clear ideas, but at times, your essay lacks comprehensive development. Aim to provide a more thorough exploration of each idea, which includes a balance of general statements and more detailed discussion points, ensuring depth in your argumentation.
task achievement
The use of examples is commendable, but they should be specific and directly relevant to your argument. Aim to include examples that clearly illustrate your point and add substance to your claims. This will help to achieve a higher score.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • compulsory
  • high school programmes
  • unpaid community service
  • charity
  • improving the neighbourhood
  • teaching sports
  • sense of responsibility
  • empathy
  • broader perspective
  • societal issues
  • college applications
  • job applications
  • positive impact
What to do next:
Look at other essays: