IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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There is a sentiment that developed
countries
Use synonyms
 should facilitate
other type
Change the wording
another type
other types
show examples
 of
aids
Fix the agreement mistake
aid
show examples
 to help vulnerable nations. Following that notion, I completely agree because of the following reasons.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the main problem is not always related
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fiscal conditions. In fact, there are several
countries
Use synonyms
 that actually possess rich resources,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
 they fail to manage and discover the function of those resources properly because of the limitation in necessary
equipments
Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
show examples
 or experts.
For example
Linking Words
, the gold cave
that
Linking Words
is
Wrong verb form
was
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 recently discovered in Syberia
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 eventually being
abandoded
Correct your spelling
abandoned
 by the local government because that country
do
Wrong verb form
did
show examples
 not have supporting technologies and experienced people who
can
Wrong verb form
could
show examples
 extract and produce the gold materials, resulting
Syberia
Change preposition
in Syberia
show examples
miss
Wrong verb form
missing
show examples
 the opportunity
be
Fix the infinitive
to be
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 the largest gold exporter in the world, which can help boost their national revenues.
As a result
Linking Words
, Syberia
is remain
Wrong verb form
remains
show examples
 included
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the ten poorest
country
Change to a plural noun
countries
show examples
 in the world.
Thus
Linking Words
, it can be said that the primary cause is not always related
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 money. Another reason is,
the
Correct word choice
that the
show examples
 exemption to give money as a form to aid poor
countries
Use synonyms
 is more long-lasting. Take,
for example
Linking Words
, the decision to assign 20 medical experts
as well as
Linking Words
 advanced medicines from
United
Correct article usage
the United
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 Kingdom to overcome the outbreak Polio virus in Mumbai, India has heightened the opportunity
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 local Indian doctors to improve their knowledge.
Consequently
Linking Words
, they successfully
develop
Wrong verb form
developed
show examples
 the first and
and
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
eminent learning
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 Polio disease in India that operates until
present
Correct article usage
the present
show examples
 times.
In addition
Linking Words
, it
also
Linking Words
 attracts international
expertise
Fix the agreement mistake
experts
show examples
 to learn there,
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
resulting in the constant growth of the national income in India.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it can be argued that another assistance can
carry
Verb problem
have
show examples
 a greater impact on society in the long run. In conclusion, I completely agree with the argument that
aids
Fix the agreement mistake
aid
show examples
 should be given to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
poorer
countries
Use synonyms
 in
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
various
form
Fix the agreement mistake
forms
show examples
. It is because the problems that have been faced
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 not always correlated with financial conditions, and that kind of help is potentially more everlasting.

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task achievement
Ensure your essay accurately reflects the task. Your essay addressed the topic well, presenting a clear opinion throughout. However, continue to check that every paragraph directly supports your stance.
task achievement
Develop and elaborate on your main points further. While you provided relevant examples, adding more depth to your ideas can enhance clarity and engagement.
coherence cohesion
Work on varying your sentence structure and transitioning smoothly between paragraphs for enhanced cohesion.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are well-structured, making your opinion clear. Continuing this practice will solidify your arguments' impact.
coherence cohesion
Incorporating a wider range of vocabulary related to the topic can enhance the sophistication of your argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • poverty alleviation
  • economic inequality
  • developing nations
  • foreign aid
  • sustainable growth
  • technical assistance
  • expertise
  • infrastructure
  • education
  • fair trade
  • trade barriers
  • sustainable development
  • environmental conservation
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