Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today’s would, subjects like science and technology are more important than History. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
In recent decades, there have been disputes over the importance of
history
as a school subject. It is more sensible to say Use synonyms
history
is Use synonyms
one
of the most pivotal school Use synonyms
subjects
; Use synonyms
Nevertheless
, I tend to support the opponents' idea Linking Words
which
core Correct word choice
that
subjects
like mathematics or science Use synonyms
is
more necessary in today's modern world.
On the Correct subject-verb agreement
are
one
hand, there are numerous advocates who assert Use synonyms
importance
of Add an article
the importance
History
. Use synonyms
To begin
with, they believe that Linking Words
demand out
some consideration about the experiences which Wrong verb form
demanding
occur
in Wrong verb form
occurred
the
Correct article usage
apply
history
is vitally important for our personal Use synonyms
life
. To explain, these experiences associate some similar lessons which Fix the agreement mistake
lives
is
efficient. Change the verb form
are
In addition
, in order to develop the country, the previous social governments should be taken into account. Linking Words
For instance
, in Linking Words
Iran
there is a weakness weakness spent on Add a comma
Iran,
History
in schools and Use synonyms
this
could be a noticeable reason Linking Words
which
it is a developing country Correct word choice
why
instead
of a developed Linking Words
one
. Use synonyms
Furthermore
, each country has its value in Linking Words
each
historical roots.
Correct determiner usage
apply
On the other hand
, there are several opponents who have declared the importance of other core Linking Words
subjects
. Use synonyms
Firstly
, they have argued that we are faced with a modern world Linking Words
which
the majority of things are based on technology. Change preposition
in which
Moreover
, nowadays the rate of students who want to become a doctor or engineer Linking Words
are
considerable so they are more interested in academic Change the verb form
is
subjects
Use synonyms
of
school. Change preposition
at
Nonetheless
, students whose dream is Linking Words
becoming
a Change the verb form
to become
history
expert Use synonyms
spent
most of their time on Wrong verb form
spend
this
subject.
Linking Words
To sum up
, Linking Words
while
there are both agreements and disagreements over Linking Words
the
which Correct article usage
apply
history
is Use synonyms
one
of the most vital Use synonyms
subjects
or not and we have to take into account both groups, I personally contend that Use synonyms
the
academic Correct article usage
apply
subjects
Use synonyms
such
as chemistry are more important.Linking Words
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task achievement
Your essay shows an understanding of the topic, but the response is not fully developed. Ensure you thoroughly discuss both sides of the argument and provide a clear personal stance in conclusion. Be thorough in your exploration of why certain subjects may be deemed more important than others, providing ample supporting details.
coherence cohesion
Your logical structure is somewhat clear but can be improved with better paragraphing and linking words to ensure a smooth flow of ideas. Introduction and conclusion are present but could be stronger. Each paragraph should present a clear main point; in some cases, your essay delves into examples or explanations without fully elucidating the main argument.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example